My Maternity Checklist For Second Baby

Pregnancy guidebooks that I've bought six years ago is in good use again

Having given birth before, I have now a little more understanding of what works for me and my baby. So this time, I have worked out a maternity list for my second child which I didn't for my firstborn. Hope this list can help you decide what you want to buy for your pregnancy. Enjoy the list!

PS: Also check out Essential Baby Items Checklist and Hospital Bag Checklist


For Before-birth, I bought/prepared the following:

1. Pregnancy Guidebooks - it's good to be better informed
2. Nursing/breastfeeding Bras - I bought 8 of them in fitting and looser sizes on the 4th month of pregnancy when my breasts swelled up - 4 for outings, 4 for home wear. They are $12 to $20 each.
3. Bra Extender - so you save on buying extra bigger bras.
4. Support Pillows - to support growing belly, aching thighs, hips, back and neck.
5. Stretch Mark Cream - to increase elasticity of your belly skin and reduce discomfort from overstretched skin.
6. Button-down or Zip-down Shirts - great for breastfeeding, no need to buy expensive and frumpy maternity clothes
7. Long Tops and Cardigans - long enough to cover over belly.
8. Stretchy Bottoms
9. Loose Dresses
10. Belly Belt - to extend the waist area of your existing pants, shorts, or skirts - saves lots of money. Can even use way after giving birth - for bloating, bulging belly, beer-belly for men etc.
11. Comfy Shoes - I have one close-toe shoe, one open-toe shoe and one sports shoe for greater support.
12. Ice Popsicle Moulds - I bought 2 from Daiso, $2 each. Helps curb nausea and quench thirst.
13. Mosquito Repellents - to protect yourself and baby from Dengue and Zika virus
14. Protective Mask - for haze periods, deter smoky/smelly air, prevent catching or spreading flu or other virus, esp. when taking care of baby. I bring one in my bag and use it occasionally when I take public transport. Example, when a person near me in the bus keeps coughing or sneezing.
15. Air Purifier with Humidifier - To deter from mosquito bites and stay away from the increasingly poor air quality, we now sleep in an aircon room and thought it would be even better if we can have healthier air to breathe in. The humidifier feature will help keep the air moist, as the aircon air, by itself, can be very dry. Good for people like me who has sensitive nose, dry skin and lips that tend to crack in aircon rooms.




For After-birth, I bought/prepared these:

1. Maternity Pads - For the 6 weeks 'menses' or lochia that occurs after giving birth. Don't buy too much. I only used them for the first 3 days and then switched to normal pads (heavy flow ones) thereafter. Side note: I wear old panties for this period and discard them after my one month confinement. Or you can wear disposable panties if you don't wish to soil your existing ones.
2. Breast Pads - whether or not you are breastfeeding as leaking may occur
3. Nursing Shawl - for privacy while breastfeeding my son, at home (with visitors) or outdoors.
4. Comfy Sleepwear - For lounging at home with baby. I bought a few cheap strappy tank tops with straps that can be easily removed off the shoulders for breastfeeding.
5. Nursing Pillow - To ease your back pain and arm strain and better support your baby while nursing. Update: Initially, I find it too bulky and warm to use in our humid weather. Warm baby, sweaty mommy, plus a bulky pillow, is a very 'heaty' combination! Normal pillow worked well for me. I also used the little support pillows wherever support is needed while nursing the baby. But later, when my baby grew larger when he's around 5 months old (and when mommy is much less sweaty), I find this proper nursing pillow a great aid for nursing. I can finally rest my arms and even read a book or surf the net. It can also provide support for propping up the baby when he's more active and more curious about the surrounding. Best of all, it even can have appropriate toys attached to it (toys included in box) and be used as a support for tummy time among other uses. A 10-in-one pillow indeed (see picture below: ClevaCushion)
6. Nursing Chair - A comfy seat for the endless baby feeds

7. Girdle - To support and tighten belly/womb after giving birth and helps in pregnancy recovery. I bought mine at $9.90 from Giant Supermarket. I've seen $130 ones in other stores though. My hubby and I use it at home as a much-needed back support especially while we are carrying the baby.

8. Sleeping Eye Mask - To help me fall asleep in the day when baby sleeps. Update: I end up not using this as I find it uncomfortable to wear it in our humid weather. I just used a thicker cloth as the window curtain to darken the room when I have the chance to nap in the day. Some people might need this for daytime naps.
9. Protective Mask - I'll wear it when me or baby is sick to prevent passing virus to each other since we spent so much close contact time with each other.
10. Gloves - To protect yourself from touching cold water if you ever need to wash dishes or clothings.

11. Herbal Bath - To reduce wind-chill or dampness. Contains ginger and lemongrass. Bought mine from Kiddy Palace at $8.90 per pack (10 sachets). 

12. Pails and Water Scoopers - For the herbal baths

13. Cooking Pot 2-3 litres - To boil herbal soups, herbal bath packs and red date tea.
14. Thermal Flask and Mugs - To store red date tea.
15. Baby music - I've prepared a music list to play lightly in the background during the 24/7 child-caring months ahead. Classicals, jazz, bossa nova, and other golden old songs, e.g. What A Wonderful World. Good for the baby's development and also to relax the sleep-deprived mommy by creating a blissful and cheerful atmosphere with beautiful music.

1. 10-in-1 Nursing Pillow  2. 4 x Sleeping/Home Nursing Bras and 4 x Support/Outing Nursing Bras  3. Bra Extender, Stretch Mark Cream, Washable Protective Mask  4. Girdle   5. Non-DEET Mosquito Repellants (Bio-oil contains lavender and rosemary which can deter mosquitoes) 6. Supportive Office Chair as Nursing Chair. I love the mobility of this chair - can scoot around house to get little things done while nursing :) 

With a Belly Belt, I save $$ on buying maternity shorts, pants, and skirts.

My frozen fruit container and ice popsicle mould. You can make all kinds of ice pops. Milo, milk, tea, fruit juice or mashed fruits (banana, kiwi, or papaya milk), yogurt, mixture of them - whatever you fancy :)

Remember: Buy highly-stretchable or oversized tops (sweaters, shirts, blouses, cardigans, tunics). Those that can zip or button down are great for breastfeeding. Also buy waist-stretchable bottoms, leggings, and sports pants or wear your usual shorts/pants/skirt with a Belly-Belt. Prepare comfy and supportive shoes too.

Air Purifier with humidifier which reduces viruses, germs, odors, mould, pollen, dust, pet dander, smoke, and keeps skin and throat moisturized and healthy.

Support Pillows (buck wheat) at $10 each (NTUC, Watsons, street stalls). I used them as 'wedges' and stick them into my back, neck and belly - wherever support is needed during pregnancy. Later, I even use them as support pillows for nursing (e.g. under my thigh or arm) and also used it on my baby as support, protection (from rolling off bed) and security (by putting on baby's tummy). They're really multi-purpose!

Maternity pads with disposable panties. Breast pads ($13.90) with nursing shawl ($15). Comfy sleepwear: Strappy tops (take strap off shoulders to breastfeed), shorts, and eye mask. Herbal bath ($8.90 each, Kiddy Palace) with pail and water scoop. Pot with thermal containers to store red date tea. Hand gloves to prevent touching water during confinement (while washing dishes or laundry).

Baby music: Playlist for my baby. Will play it over bluetooth speakers to create a blissful atmosphere

How To Really Deal With Difficult People?

We tend to see people we dislike as people with thorns.

Before I share how I deal with difficult people, let me invite you to ponder over the the following two questions.

A. It may sound like an unintuitive question but really, in the very first place, are you, yourself, a very difficult person? Does your family, friends, and colleagues find you easy-going or otherwise? Are you the one who is actually being a difficult person?

B. And think about this: Can it be the case that, perhaps people are not trying to be difficult, they're just different? They think differently from you - which is actually good! Because, if everyone were to think the same way, this world would not have progressed!

If you are sure that the answer to the above two question is a big NO, then perhaps you can use the following guidelines to deal with the difficult people in your life.

1. Everyone has a good side, AND a bad side (no one's perfect, remember?).

To live a happier life, bring out the good side of people.

To live a miserable life, bring out the bad.

You have a conscious choice to either make or break your day/life.

The very first thing you'll have to do is to be nice and polite to everyone no matter how much you think you dislike them. Goodness begets goodness, and you'll eventually bring out people's good side. Trust me, this will lead to many positive outcomes that will amaze you.

2.  When you think you've come to a dead end (beset with problems caused by difficult people), ask yourself: What is the best thing I should do now? PS: Do something that will not add on to the problem, or even better, solve the problem itself.

3. If you really, truly, can't be nice, at least be neutral. There's really no positive outcome from being nasty. You see, if you become unpleasant or angry, you'll only raise your blood pressure which will bring you physical illness in the long run. And remember, we're all merely human beings out of 7 billion people in the world. All of us have our very own set of problems and obstacles of daily life. Why do we want to hurt each other more? Just be as normal and as neutral as you can and treat each person like any other fellow human being. Greet them courteously, if possible.

4. Do not despise, condemn, fear, hate, dislike, or be jealous of anyone. Practising all this will only create imbalances and unstableness within your brain (chemically) resulting in stress and headaches. And stress, in the long run, can lead to a whole lot of mental and physical illness. And take these golden words from Sadhguru: Inclusiveness is the ultimate solution to everyone's peace. From my own simple interpretation, it means: to lead a peaceful life, treat everyone like your own kind.

5. Finally, What about those difficult people that you have no choice, but to meet frequently or even on a daily basis? If you simply can't stop your blood from boiling up every time you see them, try this: Desensitise yourself. Meet them, be with them, do not avoid them, until, eventually, you are 'de-sensitized' from their presence. Just see them as and when it's needed until you do not feel so agitated anymore. I used to avoid people I do not like and it only made me miserable, until I tried this. Doing this not only made life easier (no need to avoid anyone), there are times when I actually feel the grudge in me just dissolved into thin air. Just can't force yourself to be nice to them? Then, just be polite and neutral (see point 3).

I am sorry to disappoint you if you think I was going to give you tips and tricks to teach someone a lesson. I believe if that's the case, I am leading you to a more difficult life as there'll be no end to revenges and grudges. My tips stems from creating long-term peace, happiness and good health.

Good Luck!

Why We Are Having Child No. 2

Painting depicting the big brother tiger (2010)
and little brother monkey (2016)

It's been 8 full months of pregnancy today. As I was gazing at my swelling belly, I think back of the day where hubby and I made the decision to having this second child. This is a life-changing decision that brings anxiety yet great anticipation. Can we handle it well financially and mentally(?) and many other what-if  questions swirl around our heads days before we finally come to the final YES!

And so, let me share with you the reasons why and how we decided to have a second child. There are 3 main factors:

SOCIAL PRESSURE

• We get frowned upon by relatives and strangers for having just one kid. It seems like we were lazy and selfish and wanted an easier and more extravagant life with just one kid to handle. We were persuaded into having no.2 many times.
• When we bring our no.1 boy out to the playgrounds, the other kids have siblings to play with. And our poor boy keeps begging me and his papa to play with him. He also seems so lonely when he plays alone and talks to himself at home.
• In school, almost all of his classmates have a brother or a sister - the pressure is real. And he tries to be 'the same' by going around telling people that he also has a brother and sister, who are actually his cousins. 

SITUATIONAL FACTORS

• At 5 years old, my boy have finally began to sleep through the night without waking up at odd hours to play toys. I may still have to wake him up at about 3am every day for night pees since he is still on diapers, but thankfully, he goes straight back to sleep till morning. 
• Most probably because of the previous point, I finally get to have a more proper sleep and that my monthly menses are finally starting to become regular, which is, of course, conducive to getting pregnant. 
• I have also started to regained more energy to exercise (e.g. on a trampoline and walking) and my constipation problem has began to clear up and I feel that I've finally got back my health. 
• Everything seems to have settled. The housing and domestic issues, financial situation, parental-care and maid issues, are all looking in place. And we are ready to give up many of our material wants, if necessary, if we want another child.

RE-ASSESSMENT OF OUR LIFE

• We now have a clearer picture of what we want and how we want to live. We want to live peacefully and simply with a cosy and blissful family life. Hubby will work and I'll take care of domestic stuff and everyone's needs. It seems to be crystal clear that having another child will make everything perfect.

The truth is, just a few years back, hubby and I had vehemently concluded that we'll just have one child for sure. But right now we've actually changed our minds and is even talking about having a 3rd child! Life is indeed unpredictable... 

The reasons for us having just one child are straightforward: having a single child means you can focus all your love, energy, and attention on him, and perhaps buy him better gifts, send him to better schools or enrichment courses and bring him to fancier restaurants and more exotic holiday destinations too. Moreover, we cannot assume that having a sibling will definitely bring him more joy. There are siblings that do not really get along. 

There are also other deterring factors that we have heard around us. E.g. 1st born problems: not sleeping through the night (my problem too), health problems of child, mother or father, hyperactive child, no suitable childcare arrangements, financial problems, and unstable relationship with spouse or in-laws, etc. Sadly, there are also couples who simply cannot conceive or miscarry. So, it is already a great blessing if one can have a child. 

All in all, when it comes to having children, I'll always think of a wise quote: 

Do not have children,
Unless you can enhance their lives.

Joys Of Motherhood

My 5 year old boy

There's no doubt that motherhood is a commitment that you'll take on forever, from the very moment that your child is born. And even on my sixth year of mothering, I am still learning and coping everyday. 

Ah... the joys and woes of motherhood. Sometimes I have an immense sense of life satisfaction and happiness. Other times, I feel defeated with how things have turned out. But, like life itself, as we know it, nothing is perfect and constantly smooth sailing.


And, like they say, life consists of half happiness and half sadness. We just have to focus on the happiness and take it in one day at a time if it gets too overwhelming. My simple mantra that gets me through my recent days is this: Enjoy the blissful moments, for they'll pull you through those unpleasant moments. 

In short, focus on the positives, and don't waste your energy on the negatives. With that, let me now focus on the positives or, more specifically, the: 

WOES JOYS OF MOTHERHOOD

Simple happiness that comes with a child

1. He's not only my child, he's my lifetime friend. He has brought so much happiness into my life.

2. There's this person who totally doesn't mind being attached to you, no matter how naggy, fierce, annoying, boring, smelly, ugly, or dirty you are.

3. Nobody will ever love you this much. Insisting to help you tear the toilet paper, fold it the way you always do and wait for you intently to finish your business (big or small), all, in a tiny suffocating bathroom where no smell can escape!

4. Someone who like you enough to breathe down your neck whole day. (PS: it's not your boss)

5. Spontaneous hugs and kisses throughout the day - that comes with no terms and conditions.

6. The four golden words that'll melt your heart forever. "I Love You Mommy". The love between a mother and child is amazing.

7. You can actually see reflections of yourself in your child, your mini-me. And it feels funny.

8. You have become a mommy. There is someone calling you mommy. Now, the word mommy has a whole new meaning in your life.

9. Suddenly, someone is stuck in your mind forever.

10. There's this little human being that you can't help: fall in love, worry over, mull over, fuss over, miss, smell, hug, kiss, ooh and ahh - over and over again. And you don't feel lonely in this hurried world.

11. There's a newfound meaning and purpose in your life. It's to see that your child grow up day by day in a safe and peaceful environment. And that they're healthy, happy and also useful to the society.

12. You'd think that you've just created the most beautiful thing in the world and you won't get sick staring at him/her. (Erm... well, that's not always the case. Sometimes, you can't wait to send them off to school. And you do the celebratory dance in your head straight after that. But, if you're hopeless like me, you'll realise how much you missed them when they're back from school. Ah, the endless dilemmas that comes with motherhood.)

What To Do With Unwanted Clothes?

Unwanted clothes are:

Too big

Too small

Impulse buys that doesn't fit

Those that you don't like anymore

Not worn for the past 3 years

Worn out

Discoloured

And here's what you can help make full use of them.

1. Wear it for holiday periods. You really wouldn't want to worry about soiling or losing your beloved clothes while having fun or relaxing. Total peace of mind.

2. Too small or big at the waist? Perhaps shifting the buttons further in or out may make the pants wearable again. Good for people who have lost/put on weight, bloating problems or are undergoing pregnancy.

3. Use it for special purposes. Painting the house, spring cleaning, moving house, dirty areas, volunteer work, confinement period, hospital stays, exercise/workout, marathon, etc.

4. Use it for local outing. Beach and poolside lounging, swimming, picnic in the park, outdoor activities, etc.

5. Cut out favourite picture or slogan and frame it up. Whether or not it's Marilyn Monroe or Vincent Van Gogh...

A cut-out from an unwanted old T-shirt

6. Pass down to kids. Why not?? It'll be funny.

7. To wipe very dirty mess. From commercial or industrial to residential mess. Or from infant care up to elderly care.

8. Donate to charity organisations or relatives who don't mind second-hand clothes, especially baby, toddler and children's clothing.

9. For messy hobbies and games. Waterplay with water toys, kid's painting sessions or other art and crafts sessions, trampoline and other active play, Play doh, cake-making or other baking /cooking sessions, etc.

10. Keep for second pregnancy- as mommy's post-pregnancy clothes or pass down kids' clothings to your second or third child.

11. Wrap around glass and other fragile, sharp or metallic items in the storeroom.

12. Keep as mementos. Just for the sweet memories. I kept my firstborn's onesies nicely in a ziplock bag.

13. Use it as part of your furniture. For inner pillow cover, chair/car seat cover, massager chair seat cover, stool seat cover, or to wrap around any type of furniture. Bigger socks can be used to house unused gadgets and electronics (wrap unused handphones and chargers in socks). Smaller socks can be used as a chair or table leg protector to reduce dragging.

The Purpose Of Life?

Ha! Caught my meal.
Image courtesy of my hubby

Many people may, at some point in their life, ask themselves: 

What is the real purpose of life? 

Why am I here? 

What am I here for?

This goes the same for me. Thus, I ventured into this quest of getting the ultimate answer. I sourced for whatever information I can get my hands on for the past few years: religious, spiritual, scientific or otherwise - whichever makes sense to me, or tugs at my heart-strings. I didn't want a holy answer which I can't understand fully. Neither do I want a stock answer that I've read a hundred times. I want something that works for real people, for everyday people, like me. Something that is not far-fetched and conceptual but something that I can immediately apply in my everyday life.

And here it is. Hope that my research on Purpose of Life can be helpful in any way in your life. Enjoy.


Firstly...

What's the difference between animals and us?



When animals are born, they eat to survive, they mate or create new lives, then they grow old and die. They simply live out their lives fully till it is time to go. They never question about life, about WHY and WHAT they are here for.


So why are humans asking about life? Because we have the awareness and intelligence, and perhaps, too much time, to ponder over it - or rather, worry about it.

A very wise spiritual master sums it up perfectly: The need for meaning is only for the mind. Life has no need for meaning. You are alive - that's beautiful, and that's it.

There's a Buddha story about thinking about life itself, or trying to understand life >> It is akin to using a tablespoon to empty the sea, i.e. life is too vast to be understood. Maybe too much for human minds to fully comprehend. You know, you can actually spend decades (or a lifetime even), to study about just one subject. Imagine how much time you need to learn everything about life? A few lifetimes perhaps! 

Life is not about what you accumulated in life (certificates, cash, cars, condo, clothes). Sadly, beyond a certain state of accumulation, they don't bring you joy anymore. To me, life is this: when you are leaving or about to leave this world, there's nothing you regret doing or not doing so. It simply means:

You leave happily. Not just live happily.

Isn't it a great ending to begin new life elsewhere? (If there really is reincarnation, that is. Not debating about this here and now). And here's the number one thing that the dying people regret not doing: spending quality time with their loved ones. 

You'll never know, your parents, children, and the people dearest to you may be waiting for your call or a visit. Nobody will know when they are going to leave this world (or die). But we should make an effort to get ready to leave this world happily (or at least, leave with no regrets) at all times. Do not keep your joy, love, hugs and kind, loving words to yourself anymore. Give them out today.


On the same vein, the purpose of life is right with-IN you. It's about being passionate in whatever you do, enjoying every moment, and through that, benefitting people around you. This is truly the only way to have a meaningful life.


You simply just cannot live happily by being an angry, resentful person who goes around making others unhappy. Even if it seemingly brings joy initially, that 'joy' will not last long. Your regrets will catch up on you one day.


The best thing you can do every single day of your life is to make positive contributions to the people around you, be it a small or a big contribution. This is the purpose of my life. 

Ways To Curb Constipation

My best constipation solution. Rebounding.

I've been battling chronic constipation since my first pregnancy. Once, I did not go for more than 20 days and, with all the food that is stuck in my tummy, it felt like I was going to explode. 

Initially, doctors prescribed me laxatives which provided instant relief. But soon, they lose their effectiveness on my body. I turned to trying out other methods of relieving my suffering like eating lots of fibre and exercising, both of which proved to help, but only to a certain extend. As time crawled by, the constipation coupled with indigestion and heartburn (which is quite common in pregnancy), made me feel helpless and distraught.  

I wishfully thought that it will go away once I recover from childbirth but boy, I was so wrong. With my lack of sleep for the following 5 years after giving birth, it is still here. Until....

I finally found my ultimate (to date) solution - the Trampoline. So guys, without further ado, let me share with you the methods I've used to relieve my chronic constipation for the past five years. Hope this can help you or someone you know who is going through constipation. Here we go.

REDUCE STRESS AND SLEEP WELL 
Get rid of your stresses, and start sleeping properly for a full 6 to 8 hours a day at night. With a worried or angry mind state due to the daily grind, it is difficult to get a restful sleep. Get it fixed. Or if you are always burning the midnight oil and not sleeping between the 'golden hours' from 10pm to 6am, you are upsetting your body's natural circadian rhythm which in turn affects your digestive system. Stress itself can also directly affect your digestive system and cause problems like IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome).

FAST FOR AT LEAST 10 HOURS EVERYDAY

Fasting for at least 10 hours everyday is not only a great way to detox, but also beneficial to your gut system. E.g. Have your final meal at about 9pm and break-fast at 7 or 8 am. Do this at the same time, everyday. Choose 8pm dinner, 7am breakfast OR 9pm dinner, 7am breakfast - whichever fits into your schedule.




CREATE DAILY RITUALS
Here's my daily morning ritual and I love it. I get to have my exercise 'done with' in the morning so that I can concentrate on my work or other commitments for the rest of the day - which results in a very productive day. Sticking to this routine has given a great boost to my digestive health. I feel lighter and healthier. Tailor-made one daily ritual for yourself today!

a. Exercise upon waking up. For at least 15-30 minutes every single morning. (see next point for exercise tips)

b. Drink at least a cup of lukewarm water thereafter. If I feel thirsty before exercising, I'll drink a few sips of water to prevent dehydration. 

c. Then cool down, take a bath and eat breakfast. 

d. Finally, wait for the 'good news' (of going to the bathroom) and drink enough water throughout the day!

ENGAGE IN EXERCISES THAT TARGETS THE STOMACH MUSCLES

While every form of exercise will work on your stomach muscles in some way or another, I recommend exercises that targets more on your tummy muscles e.g. belly dancing, horse-riding or boat-rowing machines, squats, lunges, plankings, jumping jacks, and swimming. Brisk walk, jogging, skipping - and my favourite workout - rebounding are all great overall workouts that worked for me as well. For more on rebounding on a trampoline read here or at the end of this post.

PS: I totally stopped rebounding when I found out I was pregnant with my second child for the fear of a recurring bladder prolapse. And I think you should ask your doctor for advice before engaging in any exercise, especially if you are pregnant.

Also, do not slouch. Stand straight. Yes, like stomach in, chest out. Standing straight is actually a workout by itself - it engages the stomach muscles. So, if you have poor posture, get it straightened out.




HAVE 2 SERVINGS OF FRUITS AND VEGETABLES
Having enough fibre in our diets ensures that we have enough bulk that helps promote bowel movement. But remember, the more fibre you take, the more water you should drink. Fibre is like an indigestible sponge. It can either soak up water and get puffed up or become dry and shrunken if there's not enough water in the system. The former 'sponge' will move through your intestines smoothly and help 'scrub' or clean your insides, giving you a good detox. Whereas the dried up 'sponge' will move through the intestines with much difficulty and cause constipation.

And these worked for me: Banana, papaya, apple, green leafy vegetables, and lady's finger (okra). 

The slimey, gooey substance that you get after frying the okra helps greatly by providing lubrication in the intestines resulting in a 'smoother transition'. If you haven't tried, Bran is also a good source of fibre that helps in bowel regularity. Recommended amounts of okra and bran are safe for pregnant ladies who suffer from constipation. Though, I've read that too much papaya is no good for the pregnant especially during the first trimester. So take note.





DRINK ENOUGH WATER

I drink at least 1.5 litres of plain water a day. I have a 700 ml water bottle and I'll finish one bottle after I exercise in the morning. Then, I'll sip on my second bottle throughout the afternoon which totals to 1.4 litres of water. Then I take mouthfuls of water throughout the rest of the evening on my third bottle of water which I usually can't finish unless I'm thirsty. So, in total, I drink at least 1.5 litres of water daily, up to 2.1 litres sometimes (this is just plain water, excluding milk or sugary drinks). I have also cut down on my coffee and tea consumption as they dehydrate the body. Remember, dehydration may be the main cause of constipation.

CONSUME FOOD THAT'S GOOD FOR YOUR GUT

Yogurt or products containing beneficial digestive bacteria/live or active cultures e.g. prebiotics, probiotics, Lactobacillus acidophilus, etc are essential for your digestive health. My favourites are low fat yogurt, Vitagen/Yakult, and supplements that contain pre and probiotics. 

TAKE A LONG WALK AFTER DINNER 
Especially if you've had a heavy dinner. You don't want all that extra calories ending up on your tummy and thighs, do you? If you still feel hungry after a light dinner, drink some warm milk and perhaps one or two plain crackers. 

If you want, here's my daily routine as your rough guide.
My Daily Routine For a Healthy Digestive System

7-8pm: Have a light dinner. After that, do some light house chores like washing dishes or ironing, or anything that doesn't involve sitting down. If it's a heavy dinner, take at least a 30mins walk/stroll.
9-10pm: If I am hungry, I'll have a cup of warm milk and 2 to 3 biscuits. Or just a cup of cereal. (When I'm pregnant, I love to eat a banana and a scoop of chocolate ice cream for my night snack.)
11-12pm: Sleep
5-6am: Wake up and do something/move/exercise for 15-30mins. Drink 700ml lukewarm water. (as of now, I rebound on my trampoline for about 10-15 mins everyday.)
7-8am: Bathe after cooling down.
8-9am: Break my 10 to 12-hour fast. Breakfast: 2 wholemeal bread with 1 or 2 slices of cheese, some butter and jam, a cup of light tea or coffee with milk, plus one or two servings of fruit (apple with some blueberries, kiwi with some strawberries, a banana, or a piece of pineapple or papaya).
11am: Start drinking another 700ml of water. I usually remove bowels around this time.
12pm: Eat lunch with some carbohydrates (size of my fist), one serving of non-fatty protein/meat (the size of my palm) and a big portion of vegetables.
3-4pm: Drink warm light beverage (Milo, milk, soya milk) with 2 or 3 crackers or biscuit. Or just a cup of cereal will do. When I'm pregnant, I love to have just one big fuji apple or one big orange.
5pm: Should have finished the second (700ml) bottle of water by now. Do some light work like sweeping, changing bedsheets, walk or cycle to supermarket.
7-8pm: Eat dinner (proportions similar to lunch). Drink water if thirsty/hot weather/ or been exercising. Repeat everything.





Side Notes on Trampoline: 
The trampoline gives me up to 2 'good news' a day! Yes, by rebounding on the trampoline for just 15 mins every morning, I regained my bowel regularity for up to twice a day. I have finally found my best remedy after all these years. Super Yay! Besides, it's affordable. The mini trampoline costs S$130 (about US$90).

I love rebounding because it is simple to do (just wear a good supportive bra and simply bounce gently. You can even go barefoot), it is not tiring, and it is a joy to bounce - likened to a happy kid jumping on a bouncing castle. I even started to incorporate some dance moves (since I love to dance) and dreamt of opening rebounding dance classes in the future. And guess what, there are already trampoline dance classes in London and also trampoline parks in Singapore. Bear in mind, all types of exercises come with their respective risks, so ask a doctor for advice and get proper training before engaging in them. 

Essential Beauty Tips

I have seen beautiful people with no confidence. Once, a person whom I find rather attractive told me that she thinks she's ugly. 

And I have seen someone who is beautifully confident. This lady may not be touted as the most beautiful but it's her beautiful personality that shone through, mainly, by being herself. Eventually, she went on to marry a gentleman who is so in love with her. In a way, she's a tangible prove that every one of us on the surface of this planet is unique and should be accepted as each of us are. 

To a certain extend, beauty is subjective. Someone may find you normal looking, while someone else may find you attractive. But no matter what, if you don't feel confident and do not put in any effort to look good, it's very difficult to look beautiful. So, here are some tips to maintain your beauty as you already are! Enjoy!

1. Unless you fancy having 'orange peel' skin, do not wash your face vigorously with neat facial foam. This is massive destruction. Always wash your face with facial foam lathered with enough water into soft, cushiony foam - in gentle strokes. 

In the morning, wash your face lightly using less facial soap (I use a tiny pea-size only), as you do not want to dry out your facial skin - which will trigger your skin to produce even more oil for replacement, causing oily facial skin! Some people simply splash their face with water, skipping the soap, in order not to wash away their natural skin oil. 

At night, wash your face with recommended or normal amounts of facial soap (I use about 1 cm amount lathered into a soft, cushiony foam) to remove the dirt, oil, and other impurities accumulated throughout the day.

2. If you notice wrinkles appearing at your neck area, your body wash might be too harsh and drying them out. Change your body wash to a soap-free type or use your facial wash to wash your neck as well - assuming that your facial wash is milder than your body wash. Treat your neck like how you would treat your face as they tend to show the very first signs of aging or damage. If you moisturise your face, don't forget about your neck. Be gentle here too, please - unless you can't wait to have neck wrinkles!

3. Do not attempt to remove your black/white heads in one day. You may end up with angry strawberry-like skin, not to mention 'moon-craters'. If they are too stubborn, try another day. I've learnt this the hard way, craters and all. And don't forget, the damage is permanent. Truly, patience here is a virtue.

4. While you shampoo your hair, do not scratch your scalp with your fingernails. Use the soft part of fingertips to massage and wash your scalp. This can improve blood circulation and promote hair growth. 

Also, do not use too much shampoo (1 or 2 one dollar coin size) and always dilute it by lathering it with some water before applying directly to your scalp. Consistently washing your scalp with neat shampoo may end up with dry or damaged scalp which may exacerbate into other problems like hair loss (due to damaged/weak roots) or dandruff. Use more shampoo only if you have dryer, thicker, or longer hair - that is, it has more surface area. 

This also depends on the type of shampoo you use: if it's a more watery and bubbly shampoo, you'll use less of it and vice versa. Remember, do not tug or pull at your hair while shampooing. It should be, literally, a smooth operation. And as with your facial skin, wash your hair lightly in the morning and more thoroughly at the end of the day to remove accumulated dirt and oil.  

Wash your hair just once or twice a day. Over washing washes away the natural oil on your scalp and may cause dry scalp and frizzy hair. This, in turn may send the natural secretion of hair sebum into overdrive (to compensate for the dryness) which leads to an oily scalp. Just bear in mind that you should keep your scalp clean but not over-cleaned. If you have frizzy, untamed hair, apply hair serum, especially to the roots. That will instantly give you glowing and healthy-looking hair.

5. Take extra care not to apply hair conditioner onto your scalp or hair roots. As conditioners are meant to stick onto your hair and is thus difficult to wash off, it may prevent your hair roots from 'breathing'. This may eventually close off your scalp pores causing permanently dead hair roots which then leads to balding. Imagine a shiny, hairless patch of scalp! Conditioners are solely for hair and hair ends (split-ends). Make sure you apply it about one inch away from your scalp. 

6. Not so much of a beauty tip, but someone taught me to wipe smelly pits with disinfectant wipes. No deodorant needed! Make sure your skin under there is not damage though. Smelly isn't beautiful, right?

7. Have problems drinking enough water? Drink up every time right before/after you visit the loo. Replace what you expel instantly! A well-hydrated body will result in optimal health and healthy looking skin. 

8. Shower temperature: In the morning, shower with lukewarm water to gently open your pores for washing before finishing with a cool splash of water all over your body (including your hair), to close your pores and 'wake up' your body. At night, shower with warm water to wash away dirt and oil accumulated throughout the day. Warm shower will also cool your body down, relax your muscles, and preps you for a good night's sleep - an essential factor for looking great and being healthy. 

9. Stand straight. I think standing straight is the best confidence-booster of all time. When you slouch, you not only look shorter but you are also damaging your spine and leading yourself to various physical and even mental health. Remember, a beautiful person is one that is both mentally and physically healthy. Slouching immediately makes you feel unconfident. So people, stomach in, chest out, and hold up your head as if there's a string pulling you from the top of your head. Need more inspiration? Search on youtube and watch how Miss Universe 2015 walks. She's the epitome of "confidently beautiful".

PS: Pregnant ladies should maintain or adjust accordingly to a proper posture too. For me, I need to arch my back a little more (at around 4 months pregnant) to feel aligned and comfortable and prevent back pain - whether I'm standing, sitting, or bending. Check with your doctor for advice. 

Random Notes On My Hubby And Son

Hubby with his camera and the hyperactive Jovie jumping around as usual.

Here are some of my precious moments/state of mind that I'd like to capture.

1. There's a newfound joie de vivre (feeling of happiness and excitement about life) and a certain charismatic air about Hubby after we had a child. It's the fatherly glow - the way he loves his child makes him so beautiful.

2. Putting my eyes against his warm head gives me the most secure feeling in the world. That heat from his head piercing right into my cold eyes.... It's as if I had the whole world and nothing else matters anymore.

3. Seeing both of them clean, fed and sound asleep gives me the most blissful feeling in the world. 

4. My child's joyous laughter and outburst of kisses melts away all my stresses. And the sudden "I love you mommy" makes everything worthwhile. 

5. Being married to my husband, having to sign on that dotted line, is to be committed to working out our differences - for life. And I am glad that both of us are still willing to work on our marriage after a decade. 

6. After trying for six months, we've finally got a bun in the oven!

7. My boy at 3 years old: 

He sometimes stares right into my eyeballs, shoos me away and say: "Go away mummy, go back to your kitchen and cook, don't ti-pert (disturb) me!" Sometimes he hugs me suddenly.

8. "Mommy" is one of the best things I've heard in my life. And the way he looks (at things), the way he smiles, the way he walks, the way he stinks (!), somehow makes me feel like the luckiest mom on earth.

9. As both my hubby and child are clutter-prone - they can simply ditch random personal items as they move around the house - it'll be great to have a central drawer where they can dump everything inside and then clear out every few weeks (important note for our renovation).

Eagle spotting at Sungei Buloh Nature Reserve

10. I stay sane with pre-dawn brisk walks around the big field every morning for about an hour to 'clear my mind' before the insanity of the new day begins. When hubby and son are still sound asleep, I'll sneak out for a quick run/walk. This is my precious 'me' time.

11. I feel that I can now breathe easier as my son started attending preschool.

12. At almost 4 years old, he had become much more difficult to handle. As he grew physically, his balance, dexterity, and curiosity increased. He is practically jumping from wall to wall in the house like a monkey. Only Peppa Pig and Umizoomi videos could make him sit still. 

13. He's cute as a button.

14. At 5 years old: When I was trying to discipline him while using a cane to scare him, I can't help burst out laughing. Many times, I have to hold in my bursting laughter. I'm so terrible. I think he had me under his thumb.

15. The other day, when I saw my son approaching I thought to myself...

"Here comes the tornado"

16. My man has recently gained a dad bod (swelling tummy, neck and all). He is getting older. No doubt about it. #confirmdoubleconfirm

17. I am sometimes jealous of my hubby having a mini-me. And I wonder how my mini-me would look like.

18. Joke: One day I was having my menses and peeing in the bathroom and my child (5 year old) came in abruptly and said to me: 

"Oh Mommy! You're bleeding! Are you going to die? Awww.. I'll miss you Mommy."

Then, on another day, I placed a new sanitary pad with light green packaging in the bathroom vanity top and he asked his Papa:

"Papa, is that mommy's diapers?"

"It looks like green cheese (slice)"

Home Renovation Tips

I couldn't be happier when my hubby told me that I have the full rein to do up our entire empty new home. The home that I have in mind is comfy and cosy, one that allows the occupants to remove themselves from their hectic day and be fully relaxed. This should be our private sanctuary that each of us can retreat to at the end of the day. The world is really getting so overpopulated already. We really need a proper and peaceful home where we can wind down and recharge our batteries. 

I think that home design should be, as far as possible, both user-friendly plus practical (Function) and pleasing to the eyes (Form). 

A home design with good function will have an efficient layout in terms of clever usage of space and arrangement/design of furniture according to the layout and its users' living habits. The user experience should be pleasant and, if possible, effortless. In short, the home design should serve its intended purpose (or function) well.


Whereas for form, the end-design of the home should be aesthetically pleasing to the users. The chosen colours, design and materials for the walls, floorings, fittings, cupboard and counters should not only look great but also achieve its intended visual effect to the users. Example, if the home is designed to look airy and spacious, light or bright colours should be used, furniture can be hung on the walls and they should not block any natural sunlight coming in from the windows.


Do not give up one for another. A home design with great function (or practicality) may be easy to use but it will affect the overall user experience if it's in an awkward colour or an outdated design. Likewise, a home design that looks really great but is not user-friendly (impractical, e.g. needs high maintenance) may bring on unnecessary frustration and, in the long run, poor user experience.

Other than function and form, below are the things that I'll be looking out for, in the design of my new home. Many of them stem from the lessons that I've learnt, through the hard way from the renovations of my first home. Ain't gonna make the same mistakes again. Hope they'll be useful to you.



1. Try to find an interior designer who has at least a basic knowledge of feng shui. There's no point living in a fantastic looking home which you feel uncomfortable in. (For my basic feng shui tips, read here.)



2. If you're doing up stark white cabinets, do them in the same material/colour and preferably from the same source. Different ones may end up 'ageing' with different tones of white which can look unsightly. This advice came from hubby's friend who regretted mixing build in white cabinets with loose, store-bought white cabinets. If he had known, he would choose to build all his white cabinets from the same source.


3. Do up the window grilles before you move in! If you are space-starved with no gardens or balconies, the window grills is the perfect place to occasionally air and sun your pillows or stuffed toys. More importantly, installing the window grills will take away the fear that your child may accidentally fall off the window. In Singapore, where most of the people live in high-rise buildings, there are news of kids falling to their death from their flat almost every year. This is a serious matter. If you haven't done it, do it NOW. Better be late than be sorry.

4. If you are a clean freak like me, make sure the design and products are easy to clean and maintain. Avoid hard-to-reach nooks and crannies, easily-stained materials and other homewares that needs frequent hands-on care. For this, I will not be installing doors with carvings. And I'm also not going to buy tables with grooves or gaps - especially for the dining table. Can't imagine removing food debris from the grooves after every meal.

It's a chore to clean the dust off these door grooves all the time.
Both front and back!

5. Finding the local interior design scene getting predictable and common? Can't seem to find the exact design theme that you want?

For interior inspirations, check out the home designs from other countries, especially those with similar home size. For land-scarce Singapore, we can look to our counterparts in Hong Kong and Japan and even Taiwan for some fresh ideas. Check them out either through online interior design websites (Hey! Cheese photography, super love the gorgeous homes in this Taiwan website), online magazine (try ISSUU.com), new condominium launches, or even hotel booking websites e.g. agoda.com or booking.com. Yes, I am crazy like this ;) . Note: check out kid's theme park hotels for kid's room design ideas. And get snapshots of design photos that you love and show them to your interior designer or contractor in due course.



6. Decide on the main colours that you'll be using for your entire home (usually 3 main colours). If the colours are uncoordinated, it can look very messy and the occupants may not feel at ease. Remember to ask yourself, "Can I live with this every single day?"



7. Do not build an opened walk-in wardrobe near the entrance of the bathroom. The moisture from the bathroom will turn your clothes mouldy and smelly and no amount of moisture absorber works. Get them closed up with doors or build them in another room. I will definitely not build a walk-in wardrobe again because the opened shelves get so dusty everyday. I do not want to clean my wardrobe all the time. They are supposed to serve me, not the other way round.



8. Stick floor paddings to legs of movable furniture to reduce dragging and to protect both the furniture and the floorings while doing housework. Your neighbour downstairs and upstairs will thank you for being considerate too.



9. If you can't decide on a design theme, keep the house design minimal and stick to neutral colours first. You can always spruce it up to your favourite theme with changeable and add-on items like pillows, curtains, furniture, paintings, pictures and other decorative homewares.



10. Never ever construct aircon pipes underneath a built-in wooden platform or structure. The condensation of the pipings will create an enclosed niche area for termites to thrive (wood + moisture = termites. Learnt this the hard way). Also, build the aircon pipings near the ceilings as opposed to near the floor as they directly take up floor space! A great bane for the already space-starved flats.



11. A sequel to the previous point (see no. 11): I will not use any laminate flooring again. The good thing about laminates which I did for my bedroom flooring and platform bed is that it is cosy, comfortable and quite cheap. But as years passed, they started to warp/expand/contract in all places and has created lots of unevenness and gaps. It's also tiring to keep the surface dry at all times - not easy with kids, on rainy days and when mopping the floor. It's so tiring! Feels like I'm servicing the floor all the time. Not worth it. More so, I don't want to meet anymore flying termites ever again!

My headaches...
Above: Cheap and ugly link between laminates and tiles.
Below: Gaps of skirtings that termites can live in.

12. Do not place your computer screens directly opposite windows. It'll reflect the sunlight from the windows and cause a distracting glare.




13. I will not use pebbles in my house ever again. They are difficult to clean - I have to spray-wash, and the stones fall out all the time. They also attracted a lot of insects. I did it for the bathroom floor and it attracted hundreds of tiny insects within days and I have to remove and redo the whole flooring immediately!




14. I will not want a balcony again. I enjoyed it for the first few years but later, when all the cleaning took its toll on my blistering hands, I begin to find it a real hassle to clean the balcony floor, its furniture, and the full height glass sliding doors. You can consider if you have a maid.

Before you countersign on the final blueprint of your home renovation, take a step back and visualise you and your family members actually living in the new home. What do you all usually do together at home? What are some of your more prominent habits or lifestyle? Do you have a collection of things that need proper storage? E.g. Bags, shoes, hats, camera equipments, or toys? And based on these, have you fully utilised each precious room that you have? If you have pets, where will they hang out/eat/sleep? If your family loves reading, is there a cosy place to do just that? Or is there at least an area that you can house the family's book collection?

"In the end, we should create a house that fits our lifestyle and works for us. Not the other way round."