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| We tend to see people we dislike as people with thorns. |
Before I share how I deal with difficult people, let me invite you to ponder over the the following two questions.
A. It may sound like an unintuitive question but really, in the very first place, are you, yourself, a very difficult person? Does your family, friends, and colleagues find you easy-going or otherwise? Are you the one who is actually being a difficult person?
B. And think about this: Can it be the case that, perhaps people are not trying to be difficult, they're just different? They think differently from you - which is actually good! Because, if everyone were to think the same way, this world would not have progressed!
If you are sure that the answer to the above two question is a big NO, then perhaps you can use the following guidelines to deal with the difficult people in your life.
1. Everyone has a good side, AND a bad side (no one's perfect, remember?).
To live a happier life, bring out the good side of people.
To live a miserable life, bring out the bad.
You have a conscious choice to either make or break your day/life.
The very first thing you'll have to do is to be nice and polite to everyone no matter how much you think you dislike them. Goodness begets goodness, and you'll eventually bring out people's good side. Trust me, this will lead to many positive outcomes that will amaze you.
2. When you think you've come to a dead end (beset with problems caused by difficult people), ask yourself: What is the best thing I should do now? PS: Do something that will not add on to the problem, or even better, solve the problem itself.
3. If you really, truly, can't be nice, at least be neutral. There's really no positive outcome from being nasty. You see, if you become unpleasant or angry, you'll only raise your blood pressure which will bring you physical illness in the long run. And remember, we're all merely human beings out of 7 billion people in the world. All of us have our very own set of problems and obstacles of daily life. Why do we want to hurt each other more? Just be as normal and as neutral as you can and treat each person like any other fellow human being. Greet them courteously, if possible.
4. Do not despise, condemn, fear, hate, dislike, or be jealous of anyone. Practising all this will only create imbalances and unstableness within your brain (chemically) resulting in stress and headaches. And stress, in the long run, can lead to a whole lot of mental and physical illness. And take these golden words from Sadhguru: Inclusiveness is the ultimate solution to everyone's peace. From my own simple interpretation, it means: to lead a peaceful life, treat everyone like your own kind.
5. Finally, What about those difficult people that you have no choice, but to meet frequently or even on a daily basis? If you simply can't stop your blood from boiling up every time you see them, try this: Desensitise yourself. Meet them, be with them, do not avoid them, until, eventually, you are 'de-sensitized' from their presence. Just see them as and when it's needed until you do not feel so agitated anymore. I used to avoid people I do not like and it only made me miserable, until I tried this. Doing this not only made life easier (no need to avoid anyone), there are times when I actually feel the grudge in me just dissolved into thin air. Just can't force yourself to be nice to them? Then, just be polite and neutral (see point 3).
I am sorry to disappoint you if you think I was going to give you tips and tricks to teach someone a lesson. I believe if that's the case, I am leading you to a more difficult life as there'll be no end to revenges and grudges. My tips stems from creating long-term peace, happiness and good health.
Good Luck!