Living With Plantar Fasciitis

Customised inner soles -
my long-term solution to Plantar Fasciitis

Dear all, let me share with you my PF journey. Hope it helps those of you or anyone around you who have this condition.

What is Plantar Fasciitis (PF)?

In very simple words, PF is the inflammation of the tissue that supports the arch of your foot. Read more here.

What are the symptoms of my PF?

I have frequent painful swelling on the bottom of my foot. It started on my left foot, and subsequently, happened to my right foot too. Usually, I'll leave them alone and they'll subside in a week or two. But on one occasion, it got worse. Until I literally couldn't bring myself to even step onto the ground as it was too painful. Went to the doctor's and was diagnosed with PF.

What caused my PF?

I was a very active person. I run, walk, cycle, dance, swim, and take the stairs frequently. One day, my favorite sports shoe was out of stock and is not in production anymore. The old ones were just so worn out that I have to buy new ones. I tried to find similar ones but they just don't fit well. This is when PF started to kick in. Wearing the new types of sport shoes gave me painful soles.

Other reasons that I suspect contributed to my PF are:  ill-fitting insoles of new shoes, my short-long leg (yes, my right leg is almost one inch longer), standing for hours during cooking/preparation of food, heavy weight - carrying my son, groceries, etc.

How did I overcome PF?

I bought customised inner soles for 300 dollars. They scan your sole using their machines and create moulded insoles that only fits you.  It's very expensive but it's the only thing that works. I'll just wear them everyday at home until the pain goes away.

How did I live with PF?

As recommended by my doctor (please get advice from your doctor too), I do calf stretches every morning upon waking up to warm them up before I start my day.

I also wear the customised soles and rest my feet whenever PF strikes. I refrain from carrying heavy weights or exerting any large pressure on my soles. And I wear shoes with thicker soles which provides support and cushion. Shoes with very thin soles has no support and allows your feet to hit the ground with full force at every step you take, which may cause or aggravate PF.

Tip: Do not simply throw away your old shoes. Keep the inner soles and replace them in your new shoes if possible. They'll fit like a glove.

My Eye Lasik Surgery

Freedom from myopia! Conveniences of perfect eyesight!

After a decade as a spectacle and contact lens wearer, I have finally decided to go for laser eye surgery (Lasik) in 2007.

I did this surgery with a stable myopic and astigmatic degree  (Left eye, m:225 a:50. Right eye, m:250 a:100)

Now, ten years later in 2017, let me share with you my eye lasik journey - during and after. Enjoy.

In year 2007...

Two weeks prior to the surgery, I have to stop wearing contact lens to 'rest my eyeballs', but this hassle is nothing compared to the perfect eyesight awaiting me.

There wasn't any fear while going through all the pre-surgery check ups until the day of the surgery...

I laid down on the operation bed surrounded by sci-fi looking machines while hubby waited outside. And I thought: Shit, this is the scariest thing I've ever done in my life. Someone's going to cut open my eye and I may lose my eyesight forever!

Before I have time to chicken out, my confident and cheery eye surgeon breezed into the room, dripped some numbing eye drops (local anesthesia) and got down to business immediately. Within minutes, all lights were on me, my eyelids were pulled apart by metal clamps to keep my eyes open, and the doctor began the operation.

Surgeon: Okay, now I'm going to cut a flap off your cornea and you'll feel some pressure.

Me: Ok

[I just felt something tugging at my eyeballs with no pain at all.]

Surgeon: Now look straight ahead and don't move your eyeballs. I am now going to start the laser procedure. 

Me: Ok 

[This is the hardest and scariest part, even though I've been practicing keeping my eyeball still and fixated on looking straight - any mishaps may cause dire consequences. And you know you signed on that document stating "... I understand that all surgery comes with their own risks..." ]

Then, SLIGHT BURNING SMELL... (from the laser on my eye!). I was so scared I prayed. Please... let everything be fine. 

Surgeon: OK! Left eye is done! I am now going to put back your cornea flap. Relax and rest a little while now before we move on to the other eye.

Everything repeats for my right eye. The operation merely lasts for 15-20 minutes but it felt like the longest 15 mins of my life.

After that, two plastic eye plates were stuck onto my eye like goggles to protect the corneas from shifting. The most important thing now is to keep my corneas intact until they heal back on its own (around 1 week) and keep my eye area clean and moist with prescribed eye drops to prevent infection. 

On the way back home, though my view was blocked by the semi-transparent 'goggles', I blinked and caught some glimpses of perfect vision. 😉

For the next few days, there was constant tearing from eye pain, but it's still bearable. And I returned to the clinic for a few scheduled check ups. Once, I even had an accident whereby my hubby poked into my eye and shifted my cornea. I tried shifting it back with my eyelids closed and prayed for a miracle.

Thankfully, a week or two after that, I felt perfectly okay and have finally got the perfect eyesight. 20/20. 😊

I was lucky to have no complications after the surgery. Like most patients, I only had dry eyes and difficulty seeing at night for the first few months. One of my hubby's friends actually needed re-surgery because of undercorrection and I've overheard another patient getting eye infections. 

Ten years later in year 2017...

Ten years on, this is the state of my eyesight:

Left eye: Still perfect eyesight

Right eye: Slight myopia with slight astigmatism. (about 50 degrees each)

My right eye is not as sharp as my left (as in the beginning) but the difference doesn't bother me very much. My sister-in-law who has had the surgery has exactly the same condition. But we're still spectacle-free. I think this condition began to set in during the 5th year and became more obvious in recent years. Perhaps I've spent too much time on computers and ipad?

Now what I need to do is to maintain my current condition for as long as possible. Rest my eyes and look at something far ahead at every few blocks of screen time. If possible, refrain from using gadgets in the dark. If not, at least use a night light and adjust the screen brightness to its lowest.

Conclusion of my eye laser surgery

It was worth it - slightly over $2k plus the surgery risks in exchange for a perfect view everytime I open my eyes for the past 10 years. No more hassles of buying and handling the contact lens, the lens solutions and spectacles.


Absolute convenience and freedom!


Although, my right eye is not perfect anymore but it doesn't matter much yet. Considering my hubby couldn't even have this chance as he has slight glaucoma. A little regret of his life.   

Most eye lasik patients will turn out fine but inevitably, some will encounter complications. So weigh your individual pros and cons well before you decide on the eye-lasik surgery. Best of luck to you!

Washing Machine Debate: Front Load Vs Top Load

My Front Load Washing Machine (cum dryer) with high water efficiency (three ticks)

After decades of using top load washing machine, I have finally switched to a front load washing machine.

Despite all the cons I've read on the web about front load machines, I'd decided that I will truly know whether a top load or a front load is better for me, only if I have tried using both of them.

So here I am, after using the front load machine for the first time, for almost two years, and armed with decades of experience in using top load washing machines, let me present to you the pros and cons of using the front and top load washing machines. At the end of the article, I'll also reveal which one I will choose to use permanently and why it is so.



Pros of using top load washing machine
~ You can add in extra clothings to wash, anytime you want, while the machine is in operation. Great if you forgot or missed a clothing.
~ Easy to use as the normal ones have no fancy cycles (eco cleaning, quick wash, etc.) that you have to bother with. Just put in the detergent and press the Start button. Great for beginners, young children, elderly.
~ There is usually no need to maintain the machine. Just clear out any dirt from the dirt collector.
~ Top load washing machine are much cheaper.



Cons of using top load washing machine
~ Clothings are often twisted and entangled together, making them out of shape and wrinkled. Not suitable for delicate clothings.
~ Clothings are still rather wet, even after drying for longer periods of time.
~ Due to the above reason, it is a must to dry your clothings in the sun or air them for at least a few hours, preferably outdoors. If clothes dry too slowly, they tend to emit unpleasant smell. This also means you, or rather, your clothes are at the mercy of the weather. On every laundry day, you'll pray for no rain and lots of sunlight.
~ Top load machines tend to use a lot of water since water level have to cover all the clothings.



Pros of using front load washing machine
~ Very efficient use of water (see pic below), which means you have to use less detergent too. Great for helping to save the environment. I don't buy special "front load detergents", I just use half of the normal "top load detergents". Note: Clothings does not have to be completely submerged in water like the top load machines, thus saving water and detergent.
~ Clothings do not get tangled up
~ The heating function (60 degrees C) makes clothes drier which cuts down drying time. Indoor drying is usually sufficient and leaves no funny smell. Due to heat, clothes came out with less wrinkles which means less ironing to do.
~ The heat (60 degrees C) also kills dust mites and germs.
~ For my 2-in-1 washing machine and dryer, there is a function of drying the clothings to many levels (it's something like 50% - 100% dryness).
~ You can stack/place/build something on top of machine e.g. a wall-hung cabinet thus making full use of space. For me, I keep it clear so as to collect/place/fold my clothes on it - it's like my laundry workspace.



Cons of using front load washing machine
~ Unable to add on additional clothing once you start the washing cycle.
~ There is a need to maintain the machine about once every 2 months. You'll need to remove debris and dirt and drain off excess trapped water. The machine will prompt you to do that.
~ The washing cycles lasts longer (1hr 40 mins for my machine), although there is a 15 mins quick wash function for a small load of laundry. This will depend on the features of individual machines.
~ Front load washing machine are more expensive. But they are more intelligent and efficient.
~ Need to bend or squat down to access the front door which may be unsuitable for the pregnant and elderly.
~ Small children may have dangerous access to the opening of the machine. I have heard children suffocating while hiding inside during a game of hide and seek. Door cannot be opened from within. But I have also seen accidents while child got stuck inside a top load machine. So, whichever machine you use, accidents can happen, you'll just have to keep your eyes peeled to young children.
~ This is from the internet: Machine giving off unpleasant, mouldy smell after a few months of usage. I didn't encounter this at all. But I probably deterred this by keeping the machine doors and detergent tray opened for at least an hour after the end of every single wash to air the insides dry.

See the red box? Water consumption was greatly reduced from 10.9 units in April to 7.6 units in May 2015, the lowest amount of water usage for the past six months. Notice also the electricity usage did not increase. 

My Final Choice: Front Load Washing Machine
I would probably not going to return to using a top load washing machine as the front load machine reduced my water and detergent consumption (thus, less burden to the environment), uses similar amount of electricity, and it churns out drier and straighter clothes (even some doesn't require ironing). But if I have a toddler or very young kid at home (about 0-5 years) I may consider switching back to top load for safety reasons.

Changing Shirt Collars To Mandarin Collars

It's been really melting hot here in Singapore and all I wanted to wear for an outing is t-shirt and short pants. It's a pity that my beloved button-down shirts haven't been worn for the past few months and are now starting to turn mouldy. This is when an idea popped into my head. 

Cut off the collars so that it does not feel as warm wearing them. ;)

You can do this in 4 simple steps:

1. Cut off the collar very carefully, avoiding the mandarin collar part.

Another example...

2. Wash your shirt in the washing machine so as to expose the loose, fraying threads. 

3. After the wash, manually use your fingers to pull out any leftover loose thread. Then, cut off the loose threads, preferably in good light.

4. Iron them down, preferably in the V-line style so as to visually elongate your torso, making you look slimmer. 

The 'after-shirts'.
They're now much cooler to wear!

Tip: For the fear of destroying your beloved shirts, you may want to start with your least-loved or the cheapest ones. My shirts above are all bought during sales and cost less than $15. And cut with a sharp scissors - slowly. Also, you can use this same method to change a long sleeve shirt into a sleeveless shirt.

My Maternity Checklist For Second Baby

Pregnancy guidebooks that I've bought six years ago is in good use again

Having given birth before, I have now a little more understanding of what works for me and my baby. So this time, I have worked out a maternity list for my second child which I didn't for my firstborn. Hope this list can help you decide what you want to buy for your pregnancy. Enjoy the list!

PS: Also check out Essential Baby Items Checklist and Hospital Bag Checklist


For Before-birth, I bought/prepared the following:

1. Pregnancy Guidebooks - it's good to be better informed
2. Nursing/breastfeeding Bras - I bought 8 of them in fitting and looser sizes on the 4th month of pregnancy when my breasts swelled up - 4 for outings, 4 for home wear. They are $12 to $20 each.
3. Bra Extender - so you save on buying extra bigger bras.
4. Support Pillows - to support growing belly, aching thighs, hips, back and neck.
5. Stretch Mark Cream - to increase elasticity of your belly skin and reduce discomfort from overstretched skin.
6. Button-down or Zip-down Shirts - great for breastfeeding, no need to buy expensive and frumpy maternity clothes
7. Long Tops and Cardigans - long enough to cover over belly.
8. Stretchy Bottoms
9. Loose Dresses
10. Belly Belt - to extend the waist area of your existing pants, shorts, or skirts - saves lots of money. Can even use way after giving birth - for bloating, bulging belly, beer-belly for men etc.
11. Comfy Shoes - I have one close-toe shoe, one open-toe shoe and one sports shoe for greater support.
12. Ice Popsicle Moulds - I bought 2 from Daiso, $2 each. Helps curb nausea and quench thirst.
13. Mosquito Repellents - to protect yourself and baby from Dengue and Zika virus
14. Protective Mask - for haze periods, deter smoky/smelly air, prevent catching or spreading flu or other virus, esp. when taking care of baby. I bring one in my bag and use it occasionally when I take public transport. Example, when a person near me in the bus keeps coughing or sneezing.
15. Air Purifier with Humidifier - To deter from mosquito bites and stay away from the increasingly poor air quality, we now sleep in an aircon room and thought it would be even better if we can have healthier air to breathe in. The humidifier feature will help keep the air moist, as the aircon air, by itself, can be very dry. Good for people like me who has sensitive nose, dry skin and lips that tend to crack in aircon rooms.




For After-birth, I bought/prepared these:

1. Maternity Pads - For the 6 weeks 'menses' or lochia that occurs after giving birth. Don't buy too much. I only used them for the first 3 days and then switched to normal pads (heavy flow ones) thereafter. Side note: I wear old panties for this period and discard them after my one month confinement. Or you can wear disposable panties if you don't wish to soil your existing ones.
2. Breast Pads - whether or not you are breastfeeding as leaking may occur
3. Nursing Shawl - for privacy while breastfeeding my son, at home (with visitors) or outdoors.
4. Comfy Sleepwear - For lounging at home with baby. I bought a few cheap strappy tank tops with straps that can be easily removed off the shoulders for breastfeeding.
5. Nursing Pillow - To ease your back pain and arm strain and better support your baby while nursing. Update: Initially, I find it too bulky and warm to use in our humid weather. Warm baby, sweaty mommy, plus a bulky pillow, is a very 'heaty' combination! Normal pillow worked well for me. I also used the little support pillows wherever support is needed while nursing the baby. But later, when my baby grew larger when he's around 5 months old (and when mommy is much less sweaty), I find this proper nursing pillow a great aid for nursing. I can finally rest my arms and even read a book or surf the net. It can also provide support for propping up the baby when he's more active and more curious about the surrounding. Best of all, it even can have appropriate toys attached to it (toys included in box) and be used as a support for tummy time among other uses. A 10-in-one pillow indeed (see picture below: ClevaCushion)
6. Nursing Chair - A comfy seat for the endless baby feeds

7. Girdle - To support and tighten belly/womb after giving birth and helps in pregnancy recovery. I bought mine at $9.90 from Giant Supermarket. I've seen $130 ones in other stores though. My hubby and I use it at home as a much-needed back support especially while we are carrying the baby.

8. Sleeping Eye Mask - To help me fall asleep in the day when baby sleeps. Update: I end up not using this as I find it uncomfortable to wear it in our humid weather. I just used a thicker cloth as the window curtain to darken the room when I have the chance to nap in the day. Some people might need this for daytime naps.
9. Protective Mask - I'll wear it when me or baby is sick to prevent passing virus to each other since we spent so much close contact time with each other.
10. Gloves - To protect yourself from touching cold water if you ever need to wash dishes or clothings.

11. Herbal Bath - To reduce wind-chill or dampness. Contains ginger and lemongrass. Bought mine from Kiddy Palace at $8.90 per pack (10 sachets). 

12. Pails and Water Scoopers - For the herbal baths

13. Cooking Pot 2-3 litres - To boil herbal soups, herbal bath packs and red date tea.
14. Thermal Flask and Mugs - To store red date tea.
15. Baby music - I've prepared a music list to play lightly in the background during the 24/7 child-caring months ahead. Classicals, jazz, bossa nova, and other golden old songs, e.g. What A Wonderful World. Good for the baby's development and also to relax the sleep-deprived mommy by creating a blissful and cheerful atmosphere with beautiful music.

1. 10-in-1 Nursing Pillow  2. 4 x Sleeping/Home Nursing Bras and 4 x Support/Outing Nursing Bras  3. Bra Extender, Stretch Mark Cream, Washable Protective Mask  4. Girdle   5. Non-DEET Mosquito Repellants (Bio-oil contains lavender and rosemary which can deter mosquitoes) 6. Supportive Office Chair as Nursing Chair. I love the mobility of this chair - can scoot around house to get little things done while nursing :) 

With a Belly Belt, I save $$ on buying maternity shorts, pants, and skirts.

My frozen fruit container and ice popsicle mould. You can make all kinds of ice pops. Milo, milk, tea, fruit juice or mashed fruits (banana, kiwi, or papaya milk), yogurt, mixture of them - whatever you fancy :)

Remember: Buy highly-stretchable or oversized tops (sweaters, shirts, blouses, cardigans, tunics). Those that can zip or button down are great for breastfeeding. Also buy waist-stretchable bottoms, leggings, and sports pants or wear your usual shorts/pants/skirt with a Belly-Belt. Prepare comfy and supportive shoes too.

Air Purifier with humidifier which reduces viruses, germs, odors, mould, pollen, dust, pet dander, smoke, and keeps skin and throat moisturized and healthy.

Support Pillows (buck wheat) at $10 each (NTUC, Watsons, street stalls). I used them as 'wedges' and stick them into my back, neck and belly - wherever support is needed during pregnancy. Later, I even use them as support pillows for nursing (e.g. under my thigh or arm) and also used it on my baby as support, protection (from rolling off bed) and security (by putting on baby's tummy). They're really multi-purpose!

Maternity pads with disposable panties. Breast pads ($13.90) with nursing shawl ($15). Comfy sleepwear: Strappy tops (take strap off shoulders to breastfeed), shorts, and eye mask. Herbal bath ($8.90 each, Kiddy Palace) with pail and water scoop. Pot with thermal containers to store red date tea. Hand gloves to prevent touching water during confinement (while washing dishes or laundry).

Baby music: Playlist for my baby. Will play it over bluetooth speakers to create a blissful atmosphere

How To Really Deal With Difficult People?

We tend to see people we dislike as people with thorns.

Before I share how I deal with difficult people, let me invite you to ponder over the the following two questions.

A. It may sound like an unintuitive question but really, in the very first place, are you, yourself, a very difficult person? Does your family, friends, and colleagues find you easy-going or otherwise? Are you the one who is actually being a difficult person?

B. And think about this: Can it be the case that, perhaps people are not trying to be difficult, they're just different? They think differently from you - which is actually good! Because, if everyone were to think the same way, this world would not have progressed!

If you are sure that the answer to the above two question is a big NO, then perhaps you can use the following guidelines to deal with the difficult people in your life.

1. Everyone has a good side, AND a bad side (no one's perfect, remember?).

To live a happier life, bring out the good side of people.

To live a miserable life, bring out the bad.

You have a conscious choice to either make or break your day/life.

The very first thing you'll have to do is to be nice and polite to everyone no matter how much you think you dislike them. Goodness begets goodness, and you'll eventually bring out people's good side. Trust me, this will lead to many positive outcomes that will amaze you.

2.  When you think you've come to a dead end (beset with problems caused by difficult people), ask yourself: What is the best thing I should do now? PS: Do something that will not add on to the problem, or even better, solve the problem itself.

3. If you really, truly, can't be nice, at least be neutral. There's really no positive outcome from being nasty. You see, if you become unpleasant or angry, you'll only raise your blood pressure which will bring you physical illness in the long run. And remember, we're all merely human beings out of 7 billion people in the world. All of us have our very own set of problems and obstacles of daily life. Why do we want to hurt each other more? Just be as normal and as neutral as you can and treat each person like any other fellow human being. Greet them courteously, if possible.

4. Do not despise, condemn, fear, hate, dislike, or be jealous of anyone. Practising all this will only create imbalances and unstableness within your brain (chemically) resulting in stress and headaches. And stress, in the long run, can lead to a whole lot of mental and physical illness. And take these golden words from Sadhguru: Inclusiveness is the ultimate solution to everyone's peace. From my own simple interpretation, it means: to lead a peaceful life, treat everyone like your own kind.

5. Finally, What about those difficult people that you have no choice, but to meet frequently or even on a daily basis? If you simply can't stop your blood from boiling up every time you see them, try this: Desensitise yourself. Meet them, be with them, do not avoid them, until, eventually, you are 'de-sensitized' from their presence. Just see them as and when it's needed until you do not feel so agitated anymore. I used to avoid people I do not like and it only made me miserable, until I tried this. Doing this not only made life easier (no need to avoid anyone), there are times when I actually feel the grudge in me just dissolved into thin air. Just can't force yourself to be nice to them? Then, just be polite and neutral (see point 3).

I am sorry to disappoint you if you think I was going to give you tips and tricks to teach someone a lesson. I believe if that's the case, I am leading you to a more difficult life as there'll be no end to revenges and grudges. My tips stems from creating long-term peace, happiness and good health.

Good Luck!

Why We Are Having Child No. 2

Painting depicting the big brother tiger (2010)
and little brother monkey (2016)

It's been 8 full months of pregnancy today. As I was gazing at my swelling belly, I think back of the day where hubby and I made the decision to having this second child. This is a life-changing decision that brings anxiety yet great anticipation. Can we handle it well financially and mentally(?) and many other what-if  questions swirl around our heads days before we finally come to the final YES!

And so, let me share with you the reasons why and how we decided to have a second child. There are 3 main factors:

SOCIAL PRESSURE

• We get frowned upon by relatives and strangers for having just one kid. It seems like we were lazy and selfish and wanted an easier and more extravagant life with just one kid to handle. We were persuaded into having no.2 many times.
• When we bring our no.1 boy out to the playgrounds, the other kids have siblings to play with. And our poor boy keeps begging me and his papa to play with him. He also seems so lonely when he plays alone and talks to himself at home.
• In school, almost all of his classmates have a brother or a sister - the pressure is real. And he tries to be 'the same' by going around telling people that he also has a brother and sister, who are actually his cousins. 

SITUATIONAL FACTORS

• At 5 years old, my boy have finally began to sleep through the night without waking up at odd hours to play toys. I may still have to wake him up at about 3am every day for night pees since he is still on diapers, but thankfully, he goes straight back to sleep till morning. 
• Most probably because of the previous point, I finally get to have a more proper sleep and that my monthly menses are finally starting to become regular, which is, of course, conducive to getting pregnant. 
• I have also started to regained more energy to exercise (e.g. on a trampoline and walking) and my constipation problem has began to clear up and I feel that I've finally got back my health. 
• Everything seems to have settled. The housing and domestic issues, financial situation, parental-care and maid issues, are all looking in place. And we are ready to give up many of our material wants, if necessary, if we want another child.

RE-ASSESSMENT OF OUR LIFE

• We now have a clearer picture of what we want and how we want to live. We want to live peacefully and simply with a cosy and blissful family life. Hubby will work and I'll take care of domestic stuff and everyone's needs. It seems to be crystal clear that having another child will make everything perfect.

The truth is, just a few years back, hubby and I had vehemently concluded that we'll just have one child for sure. But right now we've actually changed our minds and is even talking about having a 3rd child! Life is indeed unpredictable... 

The reasons for us having just one child are straightforward: having a single child means you can focus all your love, energy, and attention on him, and perhaps buy him better gifts, send him to better schools or enrichment courses and bring him to fancier restaurants and more exotic holiday destinations too. Moreover, we cannot assume that having a sibling will definitely bring him more joy. There are siblings that do not really get along. 

There are also other deterring factors that we have heard around us. E.g. 1st born problems: not sleeping through the night (my problem too), health problems of child, mother or father, hyperactive child, no suitable childcare arrangements, financial problems, and unstable relationship with spouse or in-laws, etc. Sadly, there are also couples who simply cannot conceive or miscarry. So, it is already a great blessing if one can have a child. 

All in all, when it comes to having children, I'll always think of a wise quote: 

Do not have children,
Unless you can enhance their lives.

Joys Of Motherhood

My 5 year old boy

There's no doubt that motherhood is a commitment that you'll take on forever, from the very moment that your child is born. And even on my sixth year of mothering, I am still learning and coping everyday. 

Ah... the joys and woes of motherhood. Sometimes I have an immense sense of life satisfaction and happiness. Other times, I feel defeated with how things have turned out. But, like life itself, as we know it, nothing is perfect and constantly smooth sailing.


And, like they say, life consists of half happiness and half sadness. We just have to focus on the happiness and take it in one day at a time if it gets too overwhelming. My simple mantra that gets me through my recent days is this: Enjoy the blissful moments, for they'll pull you through those unpleasant moments. 

In short, focus on the positives, and don't waste your energy on the negatives. With that, let me now focus on the positives or, more specifically, the: 

WOES JOYS OF MOTHERHOOD

Simple happiness that comes with a child

1. He's not only my child, he's my lifetime friend. He has brought so much happiness into my life.

2. There's this person who totally doesn't mind being attached to you, no matter how naggy, fierce, annoying, boring, smelly, ugly, or dirty you are.

3. Nobody will ever love you this much. Insisting to help you tear the toilet paper, fold it the way you always do and wait for you intently to finish your business (big or small), all, in a tiny suffocating bathroom where no smell can escape!

4. Someone who like you enough to breathe down your neck whole day. (PS: it's not your boss)

5. Spontaneous hugs and kisses throughout the day - that comes with no terms and conditions.

6. The four golden words that'll melt your heart forever. "I Love You Mommy". The love between a mother and child is amazing.

7. You can actually see reflections of yourself in your child, your mini-me. And it feels funny.

8. You have become a mommy. There is someone calling you mommy. Now, the word mommy has a whole new meaning in your life.

9. Suddenly, someone is stuck in your mind forever.

10. There's this little human being that you can't help: fall in love, worry over, mull over, fuss over, miss, smell, hug, kiss, ooh and ahh - over and over again. And you don't feel lonely in this hurried world.

11. There's a newfound meaning and purpose in your life. It's to see that your child grow up day by day in a safe and peaceful environment. And that they're healthy, happy and also useful to the society.

12. You'd think that you've just created the most beautiful thing in the world and you won't get sick staring at him/her. (Erm... well, that's not always the case. Sometimes, you can't wait to send them off to school. And you do the celebratory dance in your head straight after that. But, if you're hopeless like me, you'll realise how much you missed them when they're back from school. Ah, the endless dilemmas that comes with motherhood.)

What To Do With Unwanted Clothes?

Unwanted clothes are:

Too big

Too small

Impulse buys that doesn't fit

Those that you don't like anymore

Not worn for the past 3 years

Worn out

Discoloured

And here's what you can help make full use of them.

1. Wear it for holiday periods. You really wouldn't want to worry about soiling or losing your beloved clothes while having fun or relaxing. Total peace of mind.

2. Too small or big at the waist? Perhaps shifting the buttons further in or out may make the pants wearable again. Good for people who have lost/put on weight, bloating problems or are undergoing pregnancy.

3. Use it for special purposes. Painting the house, spring cleaning, moving house, dirty areas, volunteer work, confinement period, hospital stays, exercise/workout, marathon, etc.

4. Use it for local outing. Beach and poolside lounging, swimming, picnic in the park, outdoor activities, etc.

5. Cut out favourite picture or slogan and frame it up. Whether or not it's Marilyn Monroe or Vincent Van Gogh...

A cut-out from an unwanted old T-shirt

6. Pass down to kids. Why not?? It'll be funny.

7. To wipe very dirty mess. From commercial or industrial to residential mess. Or from infant care up to elderly care.

8. Donate to charity organisations or relatives who don't mind second-hand clothes, especially baby, toddler and children's clothing.

9. For messy hobbies and games. Waterplay with water toys, kid's painting sessions or other art and crafts sessions, trampoline and other active play, Play doh, cake-making or other baking /cooking sessions, etc.

10. Keep for second pregnancy- as mommy's post-pregnancy clothes or pass down kids' clothings to your second or third child.

11. Wrap around glass and other fragile, sharp or metallic items in the storeroom.

12. Keep as mementos. Just for the sweet memories. I kept my firstborn's onesies nicely in a ziplock bag.

13. Use it as part of your furniture. For inner pillow cover, chair/car seat cover, massager chair seat cover, stool seat cover, or to wrap around any type of furniture. Bigger socks can be used to house unused gadgets and electronics (wrap unused handphones and chargers in socks). Smaller socks can be used as a chair or table leg protector to reduce dragging.

The Purpose Of Life?

Ha! Caught my meal.
Image courtesy of my hubby

Many people may, at some point in their life, ask themselves: 

What is the real purpose of life? 

Why am I here? 

What am I here for?

This goes the same for me. Thus, I ventured into this quest of getting the ultimate answer. I sourced for whatever information I can get my hands on for the past few years: religious, spiritual, scientific or otherwise - whichever makes sense to me, or tugs at my heart-strings. I didn't want a holy answer which I can't understand fully. Neither do I want a stock answer that I've read a hundred times. I want something that works for real people, for everyday people, like me. Something that is not far-fetched and conceptual but something that I can immediately apply in my everyday life.

And here it is. Hope that my research on Purpose of Life can be helpful in any way in your life. Enjoy.


Firstly...

What's the difference between animals and us?



When animals are born, they eat to survive, they mate or create new lives, then they grow old and die. They simply live out their lives fully till it is time to go. They never question about life, about WHY and WHAT they are here for.


So why are humans asking about life? Because we have the awareness and intelligence, and perhaps, too much time, to ponder over it - or rather, worry about it.

A very wise spiritual master sums it up perfectly: The need for meaning is only for the mind. Life has no need for meaning. You are alive - that's beautiful, and that's it.

There's a Buddha story about thinking about life itself, or trying to understand life >> It is akin to using a tablespoon to empty the sea, i.e. life is too vast to be understood. Maybe too much for human minds to fully comprehend. You know, you can actually spend decades (or a lifetime even), to study about just one subject. Imagine how much time you need to learn everything about life? A few lifetimes perhaps! 

Life is not about what you accumulated in life (certificates, cash, cars, condo, clothes). Sadly, beyond a certain state of accumulation, they don't bring you joy anymore. To me, life is this: when you are leaving or about to leave this world, there's nothing you regret doing or not doing so. It simply means:

You leave happily. Not just live happily.

Isn't it a great ending to begin new life elsewhere? (If there really is reincarnation, that is. Not debating about this here and now). And here's the number one thing that the dying people regret not doing: spending quality time with their loved ones. 

You'll never know, your parents, children, and the people dearest to you may be waiting for your call or a visit. Nobody will know when they are going to leave this world (or die). But we should make an effort to get ready to leave this world happily (or at least, leave with no regrets) at all times. Do not keep your joy, love, hugs and kind, loving words to yourself anymore. Give them out today.


On the same vein, the purpose of life is right with-IN you. It's about being passionate in whatever you do, enjoying every moment, and through that, benefitting people around you. This is truly the only way to have a meaningful life.


You simply just cannot live happily by being an angry, resentful person who goes around making others unhappy. Even if it seemingly brings joy initially, that 'joy' will not last long. Your regrets will catch up on you one day.


The best thing you can do every single day of your life is to make positive contributions to the people around you, be it a small or a big contribution. This is the purpose of my life.