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| My 2 year old's hands at the A&E, midnight. Note that the bones are not joined up yet. |
I crushed my son's fingers. Refer to the above picture. As I close the metal storeroom door, he slid his fingers into the door hinge and so they were flattened out! I thought he's going to lose his fingers forever. Luckily, doctor say a 2 year old's hand is not fully formed so their bones are technically not joined up yet [see x-ray], so it's OK! My point here is: Moms, before you freak out or faint at your child's illness or accidents, check with the doctor first. In any case, I am sure there'll be a course of treatment that the doctors will recommend. Your child needs your support the most right now, so don't crumble. Stay strong, breathe in deeply, and don't give up.
Stay-home moms work from dusk till dawn, all day, 365 days a year, without any pay, rest days, unless you faint, vomit, or collapse at the point of exhaustion. With the endless domestic cycle, you can get worn-out and yet feel unsuccessful everyday.
The best thing you can do is to have a schedule. Example:
Monday: Wash bed-sheets day
Tuesday: Laundry and iron (clothes and towels)
Wednesday: Run errands and playground (get out of that door to keep your sanity!)
Thursday: Quiet relax day (reading, home play, painting)
Fridays: Laundry and iron, plus buying groceries (food and supplies for Saturday and Sunday)
Saturday: Family day/outings (get out of that door again!)
Sunday: Family outings which ends with buying groceries (food and supplies for Mon to Fri)
The best thing you can do is to have a schedule. Example:
Monday: Wash bed-sheets day
Tuesday: Laundry and iron (clothes and towels)
Wednesday: Run errands and playground (get out of that door to keep your sanity!)
Thursday: Quiet relax day (reading, home play, painting)
Fridays: Laundry and iron, plus buying groceries (food and supplies for Saturday and Sunday)
Saturday: Family day/outings (get out of that door again!)
Sunday: Family outings which ends with buying groceries (food and supplies for Mon to Fri)
All the illness and accidents of my child (compilation)
HFMD [Hand, foot and mouth disease] - with no obvious symptoms. Just ONE tiny spot/blister inside his mouth.
Stomach flu - vomit and diarrhoea. Let the virus "run its course" with doctor's medicine. Drink water to prevent dehydration. It is impossible to eat as he'll expel all the food in minutes. Do not force the child to eat if s/he is not hungry.
Ear infection with high fever lasting one month - downed antibiotics given by doctors. Watch out if your kid keeps pulling or scratching the ears - it may really be a ear infection. See doctor immediately.
Crushed fingers [see x-ray above].
Sensitive nose calmed down by persistent nose drop prescribed by doctor.
Huge insect bites - used Zam-buk cream.
Bumps/injuries/cuts from running, jumping, cycling, scooting - used Zam-buk cream.
Eczema - used Neoderm prescribed by doctors.
Fever of 38 to 41 degrees celsius lasting 5 days. See doctor immediately.
Tiny toys stuck up in his nostrils causing bleeding. We told him to blow out the toy real hard. Get medical help if you're unsure!
I cannot imagine my child going through all this alone. Especially with those virus with a vengeance!
I stay sane with 30 min pre-dawn brisk walks in the open park to "clear my mind" before the insaneness of a new day begins. So, when my hubby and son are still asleep, I'll sneak out of the house quietly at 5 or 6 am. This is my precious me time where I get to exercise in peace and sort of meditate or have a quiet moment. It's truly liberating. This is my much-needed sense of freedom before the daily 'chaos' begins.
Now that my child has finally attended pre-school, I feel that I can finally breathe easier. I also have more energy to laugh nowadays.
Being with my child 24/7 made me realise that there is really no obvious 'first words' or 'first steps'. They are actually gradual. You would figure out whether your child has really, truly spoken his/her first words or taken the first steps after a few tries.
Don't lose yourself completely. Resume the activities that you used to engage in prior to the arrival of your child.
You probably have to be constantly cooped up in the house within the 4 walls, distancing yourself from the outside world. Reconnect with the world occasionally by getting out of the house. The park downstairs also counts!
Keep yourself abreast with what's happening out there even if you're mostly at home. E.g. When I have time, I'll watch the morning news while having my breakfast and also keep myself informed of the events in the world by reading online news, magazines and books.
Buy diapers, wet wipes, toilet paper and tissue paper in bulk so that you don't have to buy them all the time. I'm buying 2 to 3 big packs of diapers, toilet papers and tissue papers recently and I think it has made life breezier. They definitely don't get expired as fast as food or other perishable items which you may have to buy every 2 to 3 days to have them fresh. And you get to have the bulky items 'done with' perhaps only once every 2 months which saves you lots of hassle.
You have to be more prudent in your spending given that there's a considerable amount of monthly income (yours) that is no longer there.
Domestic duties can never be completely completed. If your back or ankles are giving way, rest!
Don't let gossips, criticisms and unkind remarks put you down. Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, someone will still find fault. They are not you, they do not know what you went through, and they DO NOT need to be told what you went though. Just be sure that what you are doing is acceptable and right for you. Remember this always: it is impossible to please every single person in the world! Just smile, nod, and walk away.
Don't let gossips, criticisms and unkind remarks put you down. Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, someone will still find fault. They are not you, they do not know what you went through, and they DO NOT need to be told what you went though. Just be sure that what you are doing is acceptable and right for you. Remember this always: it is impossible to please every single person in the world! Just smile, nod, and walk away.
Parenthood is a lifetime job. It's a tiring yet fulfilling process. You might dread every moment of your struggle but when you see the smile on your little one's face, you'll think that everything is ABSOLUTELY worth it. The love and undivided attention that you give them is priceless!
Try to lead by example. Not by rank, age, or threat (idea from Confucius). Remember, kids don't really listen to you (and your scoldings), they observe you! (idea from Sadhguru). So, if you expect them to drink more water, you drink it too. If you expect them to eat their greens, you have to eat them too.
Keep loose or unwanted papers, brochures, boxes, newspapers, safe paint, colour pencils, crayons, cardboard or magazines for impromptu art and crafts sessions - come in handy if you want your peaceful 5 mins bathroom trip!
Make kids happy! I mean, not with expensive toys or outings. But just make them laugh heartily with simple activities like running around, swimming, or even doing simple housework together. Your companion should be their greatest joy. Trust me, they'll remember it for life and even carry that joyfulness throughout their lives. You may have just brightened up someone's life forever.
Now that my child and I survived the past 5 years, we're so much happier. We're really at the end of the tunnel. Recently, on alternate nights, I can finally have a taste of what it's like to have 5 hours of unbroken sleep. For an insomniac like me, this make me wake up feeling so refreshed! I had even changed my Pinterest file title from Mothering to Joys of Mothering. More so, my child has been free from any illness for the past six months - the longest healthy window period that I can remember.
Bad times will pass, surely. Even if it doesn't, you'll get used to it one day. Maybe things are not as depressing as you made it out to be. Remember, things REALLY could be worse. (Thank goodness my son isn't down with a chronic illness or something.) So, just look forward. Do something useful for someone. Bring your child to the playground or buy a small gift for someone special - anything positive.
Bad times will pass, surely. Even if it doesn't, you'll get used to it one day. Maybe things are not as depressing as you made it out to be. Remember, things REALLY could be worse. (Thank goodness my son isn't down with a chronic illness or something.) So, just look forward. Do something useful for someone. Bring your child to the playground or buy a small gift for someone special - anything positive.