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| Pic from Mount Alvernia magazine |
Dear all, after 5 years worth of first-hand, stay-home parental experience, may I present to you, the essential notes for all first-time parents, mommies and daddies alike.
These are random parental notes and tips from myself and anywhere that feeds me information. 'Anywhere' means: family, friends, neighbours, newspapers, books, magazines, radio, TV, internet, conversations from strangers - everywhere! This includes tips that I'd wished someone told me earlier. Hope you'll find them helpful as you go through your daily child-rearing routine.
1. Re-prioritise what truly matters, now that things have changed (there's a new member in the house). Do not sweat about the things that are not so important now e.g. keeping the house in 'showroom' condition. It is tempting to leave a good impression for home visitors but those who are parents themselves should understand that it is not easy to keep the house neat all the time with kids.
And life, as you know it, will never be the same again with a newborn. The morning coffee and news, the romantic dates, elaborated dinners and overseas vacation will not happen anymore. At least, not in the near future. But rest assured, when things mellow out, and with good planning, you can always return to your favourite things.
And life, as you know it, will never be the same again with a newborn. The morning coffee and news, the romantic dates, elaborated dinners and overseas vacation will not happen anymore. At least, not in the near future. But rest assured, when things mellow out, and with good planning, you can always return to your favourite things.
2. Have a handy camera (a proper camera phone counts. I used my trusty ipod touch 5) and take pictures or videos of precious moments with your baby and you together. Sometimes, you only have one chance to capture certain moments, say, the first time your baby pulls to a stand or the first time you see your baby walking the very first steps. But do not do it excessively. Have a reasonable target, say, 5 photos and a video a day or a week, depending on how much time, energy, and helping hands you have. Spouse can chip in too.
PS: Do you know that you can actually take screenshots (meaning, take photos), from the video you've taken on your ipod/ipad/iphone? I find this very helpful in capturing natural moments instead of deliberately freezed moments. This is Context vs Content. I prefer capturing the event or a beautiful moment (context: e.g. my son feeding the birds happily with the feelings/emotions and interaction and environment [wind, fresh air] all inclusive) rather than just what's in the photos (contents: the birds and my son).
In addition, it's hard to freeze babies and active kids for a proper photo too. To counter that, I would take a video of my son mingling with the birds in the garden first, and then much later, in my free time I will create photos out of this video clip.
Firstly, in the video's pause mode, I'll screen through the video using the video slider. Then, I'll choose the perfect and clear shot and take a screenshot/photo (press the on/off button and the main circular button at the same time to take a photo. Don't forget to tap off the time and slider indicators on the screen - you are taking a real photo here).
In this way, I can capture the 'perfect' moment, for example, where the birds were just flying off and my son smiling happily. If it's no good, I'll screen the video again until I get the best shot. I find photos captured this way very beautiful. And you'll hardly miss a moment. In short: You take videos first. Worry about the photos later. The main downside of this is that you have to have ample disk space for the large video files of course.
PS: Do you know that you can actually take screenshots (meaning, take photos), from the video you've taken on your ipod/ipad/iphone? I find this very helpful in capturing natural moments instead of deliberately freezed moments. This is Context vs Content. I prefer capturing the event or a beautiful moment (context: e.g. my son feeding the birds happily with the feelings/emotions and interaction and environment [wind, fresh air] all inclusive) rather than just what's in the photos (contents: the birds and my son).
In addition, it's hard to freeze babies and active kids for a proper photo too. To counter that, I would take a video of my son mingling with the birds in the garden first, and then much later, in my free time I will create photos out of this video clip.
Firstly, in the video's pause mode, I'll screen through the video using the video slider. Then, I'll choose the perfect and clear shot and take a screenshot/photo (press the on/off button and the main circular button at the same time to take a photo. Don't forget to tap off the time and slider indicators on the screen - you are taking a real photo here).
In this way, I can capture the 'perfect' moment, for example, where the birds were just flying off and my son smiling happily. If it's no good, I'll screen the video again until I get the best shot. I find photos captured this way very beautiful. And you'll hardly miss a moment. In short: You take videos first. Worry about the photos later. The main downside of this is that you have to have ample disk space for the large video files of course.
3. One of the most important things you can do for yourself is to plan your sleeping time very well. Especially so if you are a light sleeper and prone to insomnia like me. I just can't doze off as and when I desire, like my hubby! If you have enough proper sleep, (even a 3- or 4-hour unbroken power nap counts) you'll have the energy to carry out your parental duties and better enjoy your newly-minted parenthood.
4. Exercise in the morning before baby (and the whole family, and the whole world) wakes up and feel energised for the rest of the day. You can even plan out the things to do for the day or mentally sort out some daily issues while you're jogging. This is a short period of precious, private, and peaceful alone time that you may need everyday. It's somewhat like a morning meditation before the rush hour.
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| Catch the morning fresh, peaceful air everyday! |
5. Allocate a drawer for your little one in the house and fill it with baby-friendly stuff like baby utensils (cups, bowls), teething toys, soft toys or books. My child has one drawer in the kitchen which keeps him occupied while I prepare some light meal. Note: remember to childproof the rest of the drawers especially those with knives and scissors. You can show your child his/her drawer (I said, Jovie, look! This is your drawer! And those are mommys' drawers, do not open those ok?) and hopefully s/he'll leave the other drawers alone. Jovie also has another drawer in the living room to occupy his time so that I can get 10 minutes of undisturbed breakfast.
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| A satisfied tot is the one with a kitchen drawer. |
6. Do you have packets of new and unused nappies and don't know what to do with them? You may be surprised that nappies can actually do much more than containing pee and poo. I find them useful in the following instances.
- Used as a cushion/pillow in seats, beddings and prams to hold up baby or protect baby from hard surfaces. Just fold them till they're thick and cushiony.
- An extra and makeshift baby wrap, 'blankie' or blanket. Especially when we're in arctic-cold air-conditioned places.
- As a towel or simply as an emergency nappy especially during overseas or for longer trips.
- Used it to wipe off excessive sweat, or spills, mess, vomits and to wipe off accidental pees and poos.
7. When baby has just started out on solid foods try to buy organic fruits and vegetables as much as you can. It's for the developmental health.
8. I started to feed my thin and frail boy 2 teaspoon of cod liver oil every morning when he was 3 years old. And he started to gain weight steadily, sleeps and eats better, and falls sick less frequently.
9. I'm almost on bended knees while I heralded this as my saviour. Super large-sized diapers (XXL: for 15-25kg-ers) that can hold more pee, made esp. for boys (considering their willy is on the front, so I suppose it's front-spill protected, or higher absorbency at the front area). I was on the graveyard shift where I need to change my boy's soaked diapers - oftentimes his PJs and beddings too - every single night for about 4 years... until one day, I found this on the supermarket shelf.
From that day, instead of waking up every other hour or two to check whether my baby is soaked in his own pee, I can finally (for crying out loud), FINALLY, have unbroken sleep of 3-5 hours. This change really made a huge difference to the quality of my daily life. Talk about quality sleep = quality life. All I want now is to have a proper sleep. Nothing. Else. Matters.
From that day, instead of waking up every other hour or two to check whether my baby is soaked in his own pee, I can finally (for crying out loud), FINALLY, have unbroken sleep of 3-5 hours. This change really made a huge difference to the quality of my daily life. Talk about quality sleep = quality life. All I want now is to have a proper sleep. Nothing. Else. Matters.
10. Change baby's toothbrush or teething toothbrush every 3 months or after a bad bout of illness (flu, cough, infection, etc), whichever happens first. Live bacteria, germs and viruses may reside in the brushes if they're not properly sterilized. If not, you can wash the toothbrush in hot water too.
11. Decide on a daily routine for the baby and the main caregiver. Once everyone gets into the groove, the days will be such a breeze. E.g. 7.30am: Everyone wakes up, bathe and feed baby.... 9am: morning walk followed by second feeding... and so on. Take this as a rough guide to usher you through the day smoothly. Change routine accordingly if necessary.
12. Introduce a blanket (blankie) to your baby and use it as a cue for sleeping time. It also gives the baby a sense of security with the familiar smell. Be sure to buy anti-dust trapping ones especially if your little one has a sensitive nose.
13. With baby's clothes so much smaller than normal, it's good to keep them neat and well-organized. Place clothes in their respective compartments, e.g. Outing clothes, dresses, onesies, tops, pants, skirts, clothes too big, etc. Invest in kid's hangers and some wardrobe compartments.
12. Introduce a blanket (blankie) to your baby and use it as a cue for sleeping time. It also gives the baby a sense of security with the familiar smell. Be sure to buy anti-dust trapping ones especially if your little one has a sensitive nose.
13. With baby's clothes so much smaller than normal, it's good to keep them neat and well-organized. Place clothes in their respective compartments, e.g. Outing clothes, dresses, onesies, tops, pants, skirts, clothes too big, etc. Invest in kid's hangers and some wardrobe compartments.
14. Write down the things that you have to do in a notepad. It'll give you a clearer picture of the whole situation. Do the important things first and cross out the list as you go along. Do not overwhelm yourself. Tackle one thing at a time. If you can't finish it today, continue tomorrow. Whenever I realise I have to do or buy something, I'll hurry to my notepad and write it down immediately. Then, I'll plan when to do or buy them.
Sometimes, I'll call hubby to pick something up at the supermarket on his way home if it's urgent. And during my sporadic downtime, I can refer to my notepad and probably complete some quick online errands e.g. personal banking, pay bills, order something, research about baby illness/health etc. And just before I head out the door for my market trips, I just need to tear out the consolidated grocery list on my notepad. So efficient. This saves me a lot of stress as I do not have to constantly keep in mind what is needed to be done, which can be really exhausting.
Extra tips: In a separate notebook, you can also note down all those countless passwords to the important websites that you frequent (how else do people keep track of all those passwords that one has to change frequently?) Guess what, my hubby sort of joined in the fun and noted down all his passwords (for both home and work) plus other important notes, dates, personal, insurance, doctor's, and baby's information in my notebook too. Now this notebook has become The Family Book. It is so important that I have to keep it somewhere discreet and away from the kids.
15. Delegate tasks to someone if you can. If someone needs to buy the birthday presents for the nephew, ask your hubby to pick up a toy set on the way home. If someone needs to collect the christmas cake, ask your sister or brother to do so on the way to your house. You get the picture. Don't be a superwoman all the time and do every single thing yourself. If someone offers to help, graciously accept it.
16. Buy a walker with a cushioned bumper that'll protect your furniture from bumps and scratches. I make-do with cushioned tapes which I lined around my baby's walker (it's a free gift) so that he can bump all he wants.
17. You can buy a lot of affordable and useful kids stuff from IKEA. Furniture, bedding, clothes organisers, dining essentials (bowl, cup, fork, spoon, bib), toys and even child-proofing gadgets. You can also improvise. I bought a thick mattress protector and used to as a floor mat for my child. And I used the iconic IKEA blue carrier bag to store my child's toy. Preferably put one set or similar type of toys in one bag. And only one bag should be taken out from the storeroom at a time. I am a military mom like that.
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| Ikea's child-proofing gadgets |
PS: All parents please be aware that blind cords can kill babies and kids! Please read this.
18. Compile what you need to buy and try to do it in one trip instead of a few to save time and trips. Buy more of the same essential stuffs if possible to save more trips.
19. Occupy your child with educational apps on gadgets if you need to focus on a quick task say, washing the dishes or answer an important call while you keep one eye on your child. After some time, skim through the games, delete old, weary ones and load new, age-appropriate ones as you deem fit.
20. Make little guidelines of your own to stay sane. Example, rest/sleep when baby is sleeping, (the laundry can wait a bit), make supermarket trips every Tuesdays and Thursdays after hubby got off from work and take over the baby so that you can buy home and personal stuff in peace and have a much needed breather from the baby-caring routine. You can even mete out some house rules like: turn all clothes outside in and zip or button up all your own clothes before putting them in the laundry bin. You know, it's all those little things that take up all your time. Setting up all these rules helped to keep me from drowning - they're like my life lines. So, go on and make your own personal rules or guidelines. This is your life. Take charge of it!
And now for a little laugh. This just gets me.
Strapping down the baby - frustrating yet funny at the same time :)
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| This comic brings me back so much laughter. |