Melted Butter Vs Room Temperature/Softened Butter - Banana Muffins

Muffins baked with softened butter (left) is only slightly puffier than muffins baked with melted butter (right)

Since I began my baking journey, I've always wanted to really find out what is the difference between using melted butter versus softened butter in baking recipes. I didn't want to take a hearsay as an answer. So, today is the day that I am finally set to ascertain this - using my reliable banana muffin recipe. Hope this may be helpful in your baking adventures. Enjoy!

Melted butter = microwaved butter for 20 seconds until it becomes liquid.
Softened butter = put butter at the kitchen counter, at room temperature (about 27०c) until it becomes soft.

👉 As in the above picture, softened butter yields muffins that are slightly more puffy or taller/rounder at the top.

👉 Muffins baked with melted butter taste sweeter and has more moisture.

👉 In contrast, muffins baked with softened butter taste less sweet and is drier.

👉 Melted butter muffins have that melt-in-your-mouth texture compared to softened butter muffins which have more bite, like al dente.

👉 Lastly, melted butter muffins is softer and more pillowy compared to softened butter muffins which is more spongy, like a firm mattress.

A quick look at the recipe: 
Banana Muffins
150g mashed banana
80g self-raising flour
1 egg
20g sugar (more if you like)
50g butter (melted OR softened)
3 Tbsp milk

Directions: Mix everything together, do not overmix. Pour into muffin cups and bake at 170०c for 25 minutes. Cool and enjoy.

The End...

Differences Between My First And Second Pregnancy

Dear all, I did this post purely for comparison between my first and second pregnancy. This is also like a short summary of my two pregnancies, which are actually 6 years apart (in 2010 and 2016). My second pregnancy experience is slightly smoother than the first one. But other mothers may have it the other way. Indeed, all pregnancies are unique.

Side note: Compared to my first pregnancy, my second pregnancy was tougher in the initial months but giving birth was easier.

First Pregnancy

Prelude

My hubby and I tried to conceive for 6 months to no avail. 😐 I was in my 20s (28 years old) and both hubby and I were working full-time. Finally, after 6 months of disappointment, we've got a bun in the oven! Felt so thankful for that.

I began my maternity leave during week 37 and gave birth that very week, just hours after we've set up the baby cot. Talk about timely arrival! 😃 Because I worked full time, I have literally no time to indulge in feeling, counting, or monitoring baby kicks or Braxton hicks contraction. Neither was there time to relax or 'enjoy' my pregnancy. Everything was in a rush. It's work, work and work. I almost always helplessly fell asleep at the gynae's clinic. And even during my confinement period after giving birth, I was constantly checking emails, taking phone calls, replying sms, and even made a few trips back to the workplace to clear up some work clog.

Before pregnancy, I was 50kg, and then gained about 18kg during pregnancy, with the weighing scale tipping slightly more than 68kg - the heaviest in my entire life. Then I lost 10kg immediately after giving birth, reducing to about 58kg. I had water retention while I was 6 to 7 months pregnant which continued months after delivery. I guess, that adds on significantly to my total weight gain.

Pregnancy Symptoms

My first pregnancy was an uncomfortable experience. I had horrible constipation and haemorrhoids (piles) and was on laxatives every week. Once I didn't go for 21 days and felt like my tummy's about to explode with all the food eaten over 3 weeks! I felt like vomiting all the time but nothing comes out. I had frequent bleeding gums, carpal tunnel syndrome (painful, weak wrist), spider veins forming on my thighs, gestational diabetes and fainted twice while I was outdoors.

I also had terrible heartburn which literally feels like fire burning my heart and something strangling at my neck and I can't breathe properly every minute starting from the 4th month of pregnancy, and I needed to sleep on 3 pillows (slept almost sitting up!) to feel and breathe better and my feet swelled up from the 7th month onwards. I did not watch my diet and eat anything available but I exercised a lot (walked and hiked at the park every other day or two). One of the only few good things about the first pregnancy was having a crown of shiny thick hair, and another was having glowy skin.

D-day
Waters broke on its own on week 37 one night after dinner. Rushed to the hospital at almost 12 midnight. Contractions began soon and became more intense and more frequent as hours passed by - till dawn finally breaks. Took epidural 2 hours before birth, upon constant, almost vehement, persuasion. Pain subsided and we waited uneventfully, falling in and out of sleep while nurses walks in and out of the room checking on my dilation frequently. Then, I was finally told to push although I can't feel my lower body. I just 'pushed' really hard. After sometime, baby is out, on week 37+1 day. Had the episiotomy stitched back. Total 14 hours labour, from midnight to afternoon. My boy weighs 2.52kg, is 52cm in height and has 32cm head circumference.

Postpartum Issues
The uterine contractions (that is supposed to shrink the uterus back to its original size before pregnancy) were really painful when the epidural effects wore off - especially while I was breastfeeding. I took a lot of painkillers. I had heavy bleeding(lochia) for more than a week before it tapers off and stops completely in week 3 to 4. Right after birth, I had shivers and I vomited - the after effects of epidural that no one told me about. And I felt weak and tired like I'm being hit by a truck. I was heaty and sweaty all the time. For breastfeeding, baby had no problems latching on and it wasn't painful, even when he teethed at 2 months old. Milk supply came in abundantly after day 3. Weirdly, I cannot pump and store milk. It just won't let down with a pump - milk comes on only when baby is latched on, but not when I use the pump. Baby had high level of jaundice and needed phototherapy for 2-3 days.

I also had a prolapsed bladder after giving birth. My bladder hanged out of my below and I diligently did Kegel exercise for weeks before it went back up. Finally, I had back pain right at the spot where epidural was administered - for one entire year. So, that was 2-3 hours of pain relief (epidural) during childbirth in exchange for one year of back pain and weakness. Definitely not a good deal. The thing is, I was vehemently 'persuaded' into taking epidural by the doctor and  nurse while it was already nearing the end of the labour and I was in confusion and great pain. Doctor said it was because of incoordinate uterine contractions.

Mother-in-law came to help during my confinement period. She cooked meals for everyone and I hired massage lady for a 5 day postnatal massage.

PS: Later, I came to know, I was told to take epidural because of incoordinate uterine contractions which may prolong childbirth and thus cause maternal and fetal distress and whole lot of other dangers. Taking epidural is one of the ways to regulate uterine contractions. 

Second Pregnancy
Prelude

For my second pregnancy, I was in my 30s (34 years old), and we conceived after trying for a month. Lucky! This time round, I was a stay home mom with a 6 year old (my firstborn) to attend to. Although I did not exercise but I was actively doing all the housework and running family and personal errands up till the day I give birth. I also watched my diet and ate healthily. But I skipped taking pregnancy vitamins and supplements as they cause very bad constipation.

I was about 53kg before my second pregnancy and gained about 10kg during pregnancy, with the scale tipping slightly over 63kg. But I only lost 5kg immediately after giving birth, reducing to about 58kg. While I was breastfeeding, I ate alot and had water retention and gained 1-2kg of weight. After 5 months, I was back to 53kg. I would say I lost all the weight due to taking care of baby, doing housework and running errands.

Pregnancy Symptoms

Nausea kicks in very early from week 5 up to week 25, and heartburn begins after nausea ends. I was constantly peeing (every 15mins to 2 hour), had insomnia and had bodily heat and chills - my body heats up and sweats at one moment and then shivers in cold (till I get goosebumps) the next moment. It was unbearable. Plus, I was coughing for the first 3 to 4 months of my pregnancy due to atopy (allergic). That was quite unbearable too. 

I also had facial acne, hair loss, had all sorts of dreams (good, bad, weird, or meaningless ones), and had water retention only after sitting at the desk for hours. I had 3 episodes of diarrhea instead of constipation. (Hurray! I'm not complaining. At least things move!). And I skipped all supplements and vitamins as I was eating very healthily and for the fear of triggering constipation. I also ate lots of pineapple and guava in the 2nd and 3rd trimester. 

D-day

I was 2cm dilated at week 37. Then I was 2.5cm dilated at week 38 appointment at 9.30am at the hospital and requested to give birth that very day. Doctor gave the green light! Had Pitocin administered into my body to induce labour and also antibiotics because I had group B strep (GBS). This time I insist on not getting the epidural, but as the contraction pain became so intense I caved in and took the laughing gas (nitrous oxide) which reduced the pain by about 30 percent, in my opinion. Which is godsent.

Total of 8 hours labour, from morning to evening, normal virginal delivery with no epidural. Used laughing gas. After hours of contraction, I felt baby coming out. It was like a hard rock and the whole experience really felt like I was pooping the biggest poop in the world (sorry, but true! I don't even really have to push it out, it was involuntary). After some intense pain, which I thought I was going to die or pass out from, the baby is out. After a few moments, I felt the placenta coming out. Baby is 2.64 kg, 51cm height, 33cm head circumference.  Perineal tear is stitched up.

Postpartum Issues

Baby is constantly spitting out milk and having dark and sticky greenish poo for first few days. Doctor says it’s normal. I had hemorrhoids (piles), lumps in armpit (extension of breast lumps), painful and engorged breast with sore, bruised nipples, and more spider veins forming around both my thighs. Milk supply came in on day 4. Total of 2-3 days of heavy lochia bleeding before it slows to a stop in week 4 after giving birth. So much thick menstrual pads unused. Stitched area below is swollen, sore and numb. On the third week, had carpal tunnel syndrome (painful and weak right wrist and hand). Had bodily fluid retention and was bloated. Even put on weight during confinement as I was eating a lot due to hunger after breastfeeding.

Feel normal just after giving birth. Don’t feel weak, tired and sweaty at all. No obvious uterine contractions at all. Didn’t take painkillers at all.  Baby latching no good. Baby's mouth too small or doesn’t open wide enough for a good latch. But I persisted, rejecting all encouragement to formula feed. Thankfully, I can pump and store milk this time round. Meaning, if I am super tired and needed a rest, I can just pump milk so that someone else can feed him later while I rest. 40-100ml each time for both breasts. Not a lot, but still enough.

Hubby is the confinement daddy this time. He also helped with cleaning and cooking for me. I only drink red date tea and bathed with herbal confinement bath on the second day, the day I was discharged from hospital. Ordered confinement tingkat and had Jamu massage this time round again which helped a lot in milk production but only wrap tummy tightly for 3 days, 8 hours each before I gave up because I was so sweaty and it was really uncomfortable. It worsens my bladder prolapse (collapse) and I couldn’t really breathe freely. I was told that in order to have a flat tummy, I must wrap for a month! I decided to let go though. Due to the kegel exercises I did diligently, bladder went back up. But I have to deal with incontinence for about 5 months. I wet myself easily. Now I am ok, thankfully.  

The End

The Best Thing That You Can Do To Yourself

1. Learn how to reject others without feeling guilty at all. Say NO gracefully.

2. Do not hold on to grudges. They'll only give you more stress, physically and mentally. Set it aside and wait quietly for things to change instead. Nothing lasts forever.

3. Find a focal point of your life. The centre of interest of your life where everything stems from here. Something that makes you really happy. My main focal point is my family after I became a housewife. I do all sorts of things to make my family happy. It makes me happy in return.

4. Find a healthy hobby (or a few) that you can engage in and focus on during your free time. It makes you forget about all your worries and physical pain. Embroidery, photography, painting, jogging, swimming, cooking, baking, blogging, model making, scrapbooking, dancing - whichever makes you feel good.


5. Care less about those bad people who don't matter.


6. Come up with strategies to protect yourself from harm.


7. Let go of toxic friends.


8. Forgive your enemies. Perhaps they're feeling sorry and guilty about what they did to you. Perhaps they didn't really mean to do the bad things to you, or they are just ignorant at that time. Forgiving them may be the best thing you can do to yourself.


9. Last, but not least...
Laugh out heartedly. 
Love bravely. 
Smile lovingly. 
Hug warmly. 
Kiss blissfully.
Send someone a sweet message.
Say something to someone nicely.
Do everything peacefully.

Is Cooker Hood Really Necessary? Which Hood Is The Best?

During my renovation, I thought hard about whether I should really install a cooker hood. After all, I've been cooking without a hood in my old house for the past 10 years. Anyway, I finally went ahead to install one and here's my verdict.


Question: 
Is it necessary to install a cooker hood? Does it really remove smell and grease and keep your home smelling clean and fresh?

Answer:
Yes, it is necessary to install a cooker hood as it really does remove most smoke, smell and oily grease. In my opinion, between 70% to 80% of smoke and grease is removed, which keeps my house stay smelling fresh and clean. Most of the time, there's no need to mop the floor after I cook. I don't do deep fry though. Just some light frying. But the downside is that for maximum efficiency, I need to close all doors so that the kitchen is completely enclosed and it can be quite suffocating with the smoke, steam (sauna!) and the noise emitted by the cooker hood (which can be rather deafening).

Question: 
Which cooker hood is the best?

Answer:
It depends on the type of house and the users' preferences. 

1. Extraction Type (Ducted/Recirculated): Can the grease and smoke be extracted outside of your home through ducting shafts, or be filtered and recirculated back into the kitchen? Some cooker hoods are convertible between ducted and recirculating mode. Usually, if you live in high rise apartments, you can only install the recirculated extraction hood. For stand-alone houses, you can choose both ducted and recirculated hoods.

2. Extraction Rate (m³/h): Simply multiply the volume of your kitchen (LxWxH) in metres by 10 and you'll get the extraction rate (aka air flow, air exchange rate) needed for your kitchen. Usually the rating ranges from 200 to more than 1000 m³/h. But for me, I'll just go for those higher than 700 m³/h at least. More than 1000m³/h if I ever have an open-concept kitchen.

3. Size and Installation: Usually the length of cooker hood comes in 60 or 90cm. It should cover the length of your cooking stove/hob. If the length of your hood and hob differs, centralise the hood above the hob. Also, the minimum height distance between the hood and hob is usually 65cm for gas hob and 55cm for induction hob.

4. Types of Hood: They can be mounted on the ceiling (island style), on the wall (chimney, canopy, conventional, etc.), under the top cabinets (slimline, telescopic/retractable, etc.) or even concealed below your kitchen countertop when not in use (downdraft, countertop extractors). The choice depends on your needs and wants. Consider the extraction type and rate, size of hood and installation type (ceiling/wall/under-cabinet), your kitchen design and theme, your budget, space constraints (need more storage space?), maintenances needed (frequency of cleaning and changing filters), types of material (glass/stainless steel), etc.

5. Lighting: Finally, most cooker hoods come with lightings (usually LED or halogen bulbs) so that you can have a clearer cooking view. LED lightings are more energy efficient, last longer and emit less heat than halogen bulbs, making cooking a more pleasant (cooler) experience. Also, LED bulbs emit a cooler, whiter light as compared to halogen bulbs which emit yellowish light which I don't like. Whiter lighting makes me see much better.

Conclusion: 
If I can freely choose a cooker hood again without any space and budget constraints, I'll install a slimline hood (simple design looks neater) with the highest extraction rate (more than 1000 m³/h), the quietest (less than 50 db), the one with LED (white) lightings and finally, with no transparent glass material (glass is fragile and difficult to keep clean, coloured glass is okay). 

By the way, this is the online specification screenshot of the model I installed.

My New Home In 2018

Ladies and gentlemen, let me present to you my long awaited... New home! 

After an almost 5 year wait since 2013, I've finally moved in to my dream home. This is my ultimate utopia. My happiest place in the world. 😊

After so many obstacles, we've finally received the keys to our home. We chose the bank instead of HDB for our home loan. There was so much administrative work that we have to deal with. We were literally running all over, attending appointments, dispatching documents, making phone calls and sending emails. Then, came the renovations with its inevitable hiccups. And finally we've made it to moving into this wonderful home.

The unblocked view is amazing. And if you squint your eyes hard enough, there's a tiny strip of sea view in the farthest distance. Without further ado, let me show you around my little 4 room flat (93 m² or 1001 ft², including the aircon ledge). But firstly, the floor plan... 

This is the recommended layout. Mine's slightly different. The TV and sofa is facing the opposite way and the entrance of the kitchen is shifted to the left instead of being at the right which is directly facing the 3rd bedroom. No good. And the 3rd bedroom is actually converted to a study room for the 4 of us.  

After meeting up with our interior designer several times that comprises of hours and hours of discussions and decision making, to getting approval for the renovations which was delayed due to unknown reasons, the renovations finally began. 

                         

First day of renovation: Aircon installations, electrical wiring and hacking of kitchen wall - all in one day! No wonder our renovation took only about a month to complete. 😅

BEFORE...

The totally bare-faced home with my son. We opted out of the flooring, toilet accessories, and all of the doors.

AFTER... Because of our limited budget, our home was kept as simple and as practical as possible. More pictures...

Our living room with Van Gogh's beautiful painting. Wall fan is chosen for the entire home as I dislike how ceiling fan creates the flickering effect.

The dining area, with Van Gogh's painting again. Homogeneous tiles were used for the entire house instead of laminates that were used in the old house as they are much more durable and requires much less maintenance.  

The kitchen. I finally own an oven. The very first oven of my life. Heh heh...

Master bedroom

Boys bedroom

Study Room that can accommodate 4 of us

Master Bathroom

Storage heater tank was installed to counter the problem of low water pressure that the higher floor houses face. Moreover, the water gets really hot in the afternoon which is unsuitable for babies and kids to shower. So the cool water in the storage tank solves this problem as well.

Common bathroom

Non-slip black tiles overlay the existing grey tiles in the shower to fix the water pooling problems as well as making the shower area child-friendly. My older boy used to slip and fall in the bathroom at the old house but not anymore now.


Simple stainless steel shelves were used for easy cleaning. (The glass shelves at the old home were a headache to clean.) Plastic/acrylic shower screen was chosen instead of glass ones for the very same reasons, as well as for safety reasons because of my 2 rambunctious boys. My ID said he haven't done plastic shower screen for all his projects for the past 5 years! Haha. 

Lastly, the service yard.

Before I end, here's some beautiful sceneries I manage to capture...

The very first breaking dawn at our new home... I'll never forget how thankful, relieved and contented I am at that moment.

Sunset view from my yard. This earth is so beautiful and amazing.

But of course, to me, nothing is as beautiful as the family I love...

I hope my boys can grow up happily and healthily in our new cosy home. Love them always... 

After 36 years, I have finally created the home that I love. And I shall enjoy all this gratefully as long as it lasts.

My Diaper Bag Essentials Checklist

Dear all, let me share with you what's in my diaper bag as a second time mom. The following essential items are usually enough for baby (From 0 to 9 months) and me to be outdoors for up to 9 hours. Hope this helps 😉

1. Diaper Bag - mine was given free by the hospital. It has lots of pockets and it comes with a changing mat. Love this bag (in picture above).

2. Diapers and essentials - at least 3-5 diapers with disposable gloves (for my sensitive skin), wet wipes and dry tissue, nappy cream and hand sanitizer. PS: put all this together in a small bag so that you don't have to scrabble around looking for items during a diaper change.

3. Extra set of clothing - for any mess e.g. sweat, messed up meals, saliva, puke, pee, or poo.

4. Nappy cloth and hand cloth - to wipe up any mess. Sometimes, I also use nappy cloth as a scarf for my baby for chilly days or in very cold aircon areas like on buses or shopping centres.

5. Plastic bag - to place and discard used diapers or keep soiled clothings.

6. Weather essentials - umbrella, portable electrical fan, sunglasses and wide brim foldable hat: to cater for the unexpectable weather in Singapore (Rain>shine>rain>shine...)

7. Jacket - For the baby to wear if we'll be in a very cold area for extended periods of time, e.g. cinema, near ice-skating arena, or in arctic-cold supermarket.

8. Baby 'soothers' - Anything that soothes, calms, relieves, comforts, eases, pacifies or entertains the baby. The favourite toy car or handkerchief, the pacifier, teething toy, the blankie, that little crocodile soft toy or even a snack - anything that makes the baby happy. My baby likes to bite handkerchief and must nap with a pacifier so I bring these 2 things all the time. Sometimes you need to rotate the items in case baby gets bored. Bring anything (not too big) that works for your baby. A crying baby = a crazy mommy!

9. Handy tissue paper - for all occasions or mess. Due to hygiene reasons, I don't mix this with tissue used for diaper changes.

10. Mommy snack - usually an apple or a handy small bite in case I get hungry in between meals. 

11. Milk - When I stopped breastfeeding or was in transition, I bring 2 milk bottles which contain milk powder for one feeding each, a water bottle with plain water, a 1 litre flask that contains hot water, and a bib. I put them all in a separate 'milk bag'. PS: I give baby a full feed just before heading out and immediately upon return.

12. Mommy's personal things - My water bottle, wallet, handphone, lip balm, etc.

There Is Nowhere Else In The World Like Home

A dialog from Singapore's Channel 8 show: Tiger Mum show. Episode 19.

I find this very true and heartwarming. Just want to share with you...

"The world that we're living in is terrible as it is
Disasters, be it natural or man-made, nuclear leak,
Missile attacks, smog hazards, politicking at the workplace

Only one place offers a safe haven 
Home (is where it is)

Your family won't hurt you, or backstab you
On the contrary, your family will go through thick and thin with you

Home is where you find warmth 
Where you find hope

Home is where you nurse your wounds
It's where you catch your breath 
Pull yourself together and
Equip yourself to charge again...

When you return home battle-scarred"




There is indeed nowhere else in this world like HOME.
And I am now trying to create one such home. Wish me luck.

Lizard Tails: Why do they still wriggle after being cut off?

I am always fascinated about lizard's tail still wriggling even after it's severed from their body. In fact, I have an irrational fear of it wriggling into my ear and making me deaf - thanks to my mom who used to warn me about this when I was just a kid.

Fast forward, decades later, I've finally set down to find out the answer to this burning question.

According to Wikipedia, lizards actually lose their tail on purpose (!), not by accident, in a phenomenon called autotomy, simply known as self-severing or self-amputation.

When they feel threatened, they'll discard their own tail which continues to wriggle, in order to distract their predator while they make a quick escape. The tail is said to grow back later.

There are many other animals that have such self-defence mechanism to protect themselves.

Cool right? 😁

Why Can't I feel Satisfied With My Life?

In search of life's satisfaction:
Every moment can be the perfect moment, if you let it.

There was once in my life I had everything I wished for. Some rather common things like a family, a degree, a job, a home, and a nice pair of shoes. It's like I suddenly realised all my dreams came true. More or less.

But the irony is, why do I feel more alive and purposeful before my dreams came true? Shouldn't I feel happier, contented, and relaxed after fulfilling my dreams?

Of course, there was the initial joy and pleasure of having what I wished for. After all, I tried so hard and put in so much effort. I earned it. But those positive emotions didn't last as long as I expected. So, what went wrong? What's wrong with me?

It is like you can have everything you'd wanted but you are still unsatisfied. Is it because a person's greed/wants can be unlimited, if you let it? Like the saying, all the things in the world cannot please a greedy person.

After much pondering, these are the two conclusions I came about for my situation.

1. Perhaps I am not grateful enough for all the things I have, and taking things and people for granted. So, I must increase my 'gratefulness level'. I don't want to regret if I ever lose them one day.

2. When there was something to achieve, I felt alive and purposeful. What I did was meaningful and needed. But when I've achieved my goals, there was nothing else to do, and nowhere to go to, which makes my days meaningless. So, in order to keep myself feeling alive, I have to find something meaningful to do.

But this time, I have to find something that is more sustainable (i.e. not accumulating expensive things), something that lasts - like helping people (This won't end. There are countless people who need help). Or, I can simply do well in my job and provide my service professionally to the people around me (This won't end too, unless you quit, got retrenched, etc). In short...

Just do something positive to the people around you as much as you can afford; mentally, physically and financially. And always be grateful and treasure what you have (for both people and things). Do not take them for granted.

Rules Of Being Happy

My morning breakfast. Simple happiness.

Here are my simple rules for being happy.

Read this post whenever you're down for an instant mood lift!

Enjoy whatever that you are doing

Enjoy every step when you are walking

Enjoy every sip of hot or cold drink

Enjoy doing your job because it is the best job in the world (housewife included).

Enjoy your home

Enjoy your food

Enjoy your family

Forget all about your pain, worries, and grudges

Just really enjoy everything, anything...

Do not hold back your JOYs. Just En-JOY!

How To Really Live A Positive Life?

They always say:

Be Positive. 

But, how do we actually DO it? Mentally? Or physically? How exactly? When exactly?

Here's how I keep myself positive and upbeat: by creating a list of  positive beliefs or mantras.


And here's the thing: I keep them near me - in my phone, desk wall or desktop - and I constantly recite them to myself, especially in tougher times.


Create your own list of beliefs, attitude, or mantras and repeat them to yourself periodically in order to lead a positive, driven life. They'll give you strength and courage to move onwards happily and positively everyday.


Here's my list. Hope they can inspire you too.

1. The best thing that you can do every single day of your life is to make positive contributions to the people around you or to the society. Do something useful to the people you meet everyday or bring warmth and joy to as many people as you can. Life is as miserable as it is. Everybody carries their own sets of problems, setbacks, and insecurities, no matter how great you think they may seem to be. Be as nice as you can. If it's really impossible to be nice all the time, at least be neutral. Don't add on to the hostility in this world.

2. Take it from Confucius: If you can't look back with satisfaction, at least look forward with anticipation. Instead of wallowing in self-pity because of a past event, why don't you put down the past, move onwards, look into your future and visualise what kind of life do you really want to live in? Let's say it's something materialistic (but realistic). You want to own a condominium within 5 or 8 years. Okay. So, what's the next step? Start working towards the goal you want! Start right now. Do well in your job, and save a certain amount of money monthly. Do the calculations. Plan the steps you need to take to lead you to your desired destination. Your daily motivation is to work towards your goal. By the way, my daily motivation is to create my very own warm and happy family and home that I never had growing up.

3. Stop negativity. Negativity in any form (complaining, comparing, worrying, wallowing in self-pity and despair) will only attract more negativity, like a vicious cycle. So, throw away your all unhappy past and all grudges, which is akin to pest - don't let it fester in your life and hinder you from becoming a better person anymore, it has done enough damage already. Take them as one of your life experiences or good lessons learnt. If there are no challenges in life, you will not taste the sweetness of true success and achievement.

4. My old fashion phrase:

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. 

It's about learning how to dance in the rain. 

~ Vivian Greene

To me, this saying meant that we should continue to experience and live life to the fullest no matter what may come upon us. Waiting for the right time to be 'finally happy ever after' is going to waste so much of the precious time out of our short life span that is ticking away continuously. Look for the joy even when it's raining.

5. Stop finding yourself. Stop creating yourself. Just be the best version of yourself. I came up with this because I really can't seem to 'find' my old self back and I feel tired trying to figure out who am I 'suppose' to be. So, I've decided to just present the best of myself in both good and bad times. This is a much more relaxing way to live. 😏

I hope this write-up can inspire you into moving onwards positively by adopting useful and encouraging beliefs and phrases into your everyday life. Cheers to being alive people!

My Second Pregnancy Till D-day

My one day old child - Avin

Every child should be loved deeply and wholeheartedly... Lio, Dec 2016

Hi guys, I just want to share my second experience with pregnancy in this post for my parent-to-be readers. It is actually my diary, in the form of short notes, on my pregnancy journey on random weeks. Hope it gives you some form of relief or help. Enjoy the read.

My Pregnancy Diary

13 weeks per trimester

1st Trimester (week 1-13)

Week 5
The all-day nausea kicks in!

Plus fatigue, dizziness, headache, constipation, frequent, non-stop and all-day urination, waking up to pee 2-3 times at night, insomnia despite being very tired, total change of palate (e.g. stop eating my usual breakfast, apples, etc.).

Facial acne breakouts, painful and swelling breasts, alternating between having very cold (chills) and very hot (heats) spells in a short span of minutes. One moment I'm trembling in cold, and then next moment I'm heating up and sweating.

Had lots of dreams at night. All funny, lovely, scary, and meaningless ones.

Having bad cough for 3 to 4 months due to atopy (hay fever).

Everyday is unbearable.




Week 6
1st appointment with Doctor (ob/gyn) - very excited. Nausea kicks in full swing especially when stomach is empty. Almost feel like vomiting all the time but didn't - just felt very nauseated. I carry a plastic bag with me all the time, just in case.

Constant headaches esp. in this period of haze and joss paper burning. I feel like running away when I see smokers on the streets. All the smoke gives me throbbing head pain.

No more constipation 😄

Did not exercise due to overall weakness, but continue to do all the housework.

Weight gain steady - at about 0.5kg per week.

To curb nauseousness, I ate lots of ice popsicles made of fruit juice, Milo, milk, milk tea. I also popped pieces of frozen fruit in my mouth.



Week 8
Feeling nauseous the moment I wake up.

Everything seems to be in a blur to me. Not much energy left in my body, even walking is a chore.

Every smell (food, perfume, surroundings) seems to increase nauseousness.

Nothing tastes good 😢

Hot and stale weather makes things worse. The haze is here on and off. Having a breath of fresh air is getting more and more difficult. Finally bought an air purifier with humidifier - instant fresh air! Yay.



Week 9
Torturous, scorching hot, humid days. Rain makes it worse.

Feel like puking whole day.

Dizzy and tired.

Still having chills and heat spells, since week 5. One moment I feel like melting and sweating, next moment I feel extremely cold till I get goosebumps and I'll wrap myself up like an Eskimo. Unbearable feeling.

Doctor said to measure my temperature when I get the heaty spells. And if I hit above 37.5 degrees Celsius, meaning if I have a fever, I'll have to pop a panadol. Fever can cause miscarriage.

Had herbal chicken soup cooked with 'dang gui' and had a bad bout of stomach ache. Had some common street (pasar malam) food and had 3 days of upset stomach again. Fear of miscarriage. But luckily, nothing happened.




2nd Trimester (week 14-27)
Week 18
Finally pulled through to the 2nd trimester...

Nauseousness has finally began to vanish, like magic. Yippie!

Heats and chills have completely stopped 😁

Change of palate again: no longer craving for spicy and sour food like tom yam, curry, peppery soup, chilli, kimchi, achar, pickled chilli, orange, kiwi, pineapple, green apple, etc.

No more obvious food cravings

Sometimes, don't feel like eating at all. Yet sometimes feel like eating 2 meals at one go.

Painful inner thighs, with painful varicose veins.

Felt baby's movements!




Week 22
Detailed baby scan at NUH fetal care centre. We could see all parts of baby clearly - heart, bones, brains, even the face! It's amazing. Didn't remember having this scan for my first child. Everything looks fine. Very happy.

Nauseousness came back in unexpected waves 😩

Can't put on too much weight lest my plantar fasciitis (heel spur) acts up again, and making me unable to walk for days.




Week 25
Baby super kicks!

Nauseousness has finally stopped 😊 but heartburn begins.

Tummy getting bigger and tighter and people have started to notice.

Feeling breathless and bloated thus eating less. But still putting on 1kg every 2 weeks, which is within the recommended weight gain range.

Ate ice popsicles after every meal to cool down because of the humid weather

Did not exercise like I did for my first pregnancy. But still doing a lot of housework.

PS: No weight gain from week 27 to week 29 but thankfully, baby's weight more than doubled (0.6kg at week 26 to 1.45kg at week 30)




3rd Trimester (week 28-40)
Week 31
The craving for sour food returns. Ate a lot of pineapple, green apple, big oranges, guava with plum powder, Subway's chicken teriyaki with cheese and all vegetables with red wine vinegar sauce. And then there are my food court favourites: Korean Saba fish meal with kimchi, vegetarian noodle with sweet and sour tofu, Indonesian chicken set meal. Basically, my diet consists of a lot of chicken, cheese, fish, tofu, fruits and vegetables. Skipped all the vitamins that doctor prescribed, since I ate so consciously and healthily. As eating certain vitamins or supplements (e.g. calcium) can trigger the dreaded constipation!

Felt Braxton Hicks contractions - slightly painful tightening of my tummy. It was as clear as taxes! Didn't have this in my first pregnancy, so it caught me by surprise.

Had 2 bouts of diarrhea episodes that lasted for 2-3 days.

Sleepless nights. Very tired, yet can't fall asleep. Still waking up every night for 1-3 bathroom trips. In the daytime, felt the need to go bathroom every other hour, sometimes within 15 minutes.

Weight gain about 10kg

Continual hair loss

Feet swelled up on 2 occasions only. Prevented this by raising up my leg whenever I sit down.




Week 32
Zika fear! The virus has reached Singapore. Moms around the world are having newborns with 'small head syndromes' (also called microcephaly). It is every parent's nightmare. Apply mosquito repellent every single time I head out.

Had diarrhea again for the 3rd time, for 3 days. Does not seem like food poisoning, just 'pregnancy diarrhea'.

Sleeping and eating more normally now. Had lots of dreams again (is that you BFG?)

Digestion is good, still no constipation and piles, but has a little heartburn.

Feeling heavier and more tired.

Hair loss seems to slow down, finally.

Feels grateful every time doctor says baby is FINE.

Feels grateful every time baby gives a kick or swirls inside me. It means that he's alive. My first child (6 years old) sees and feels those baby movements all the time too and is getting increasingly excited to see his little brother.

Getting everything really ready: Baby car seat, cot, beddings, clothings, hospital bag, and shortlisted list of confinement food caterers and Malay massage ladies. Confinement bath herbs with pails and thermal containers for red date tea are all on standby mode as well.

Still not exercising for this pregnancy but did a lot of housework. Washed down toilets, wiped down windows, cooked, washed and changed bedsheets, swept and mopped floor, did the almost daily laundry, carried groceries home, and walked a lot while running personal or family errands. Research finds that these activities are as good as having moderate exercise if done at least 5 days every week for at least 30 mins each time. At least 150 mins per week of deliberate physical movement is good enough for health.



Week 33
No weight gain from week 30 to week 34. But baby is still gaining (1.8kg). Doctor said to drink more milk, eat more eggs and even durian to gain more weight for this final stretch.

Eating Subway's chicken teriyaki with honey oat bread, at least 3 times a week. Love it. Had lots of fish, tofu, nuts in moderate amounts (a handful per day of almonds, walnuts, cashews, and pistachios), cheese, chicken, vegetables and fruits (esp. pineapple, guava, watermelon, green apples, dried cranberries). Had occasional snack like biscuit, dark chocolate, waffles and ice cream.

PS: I ate a lot of pineapple (thrice per week, a slice each time) for 2nd and 3rd trimester, but I totally avoided it in my 1st trimester to avoid miscarriage.



Week 35
Lower back pain keeping me awake day and night, can't sleep throughout the night, waking up every 20 - 40 minutes. Arghhhh...

Tummy getting heavier, tighter and rock hard. Can see baby kicks clearly on tummy, almost can see his hands or legs when he kicks. Feel a weighty pressure on my groin area.

My outie (protruding belly button) now looks almost like an early hernia. I'm praying it's not!

Getting more and more difficult to breathe, eat, move, get up and walk. Wish everything can end soon. Getting very bored, sick and tired.


But everything seems to be in place now. Just waiting for the chaos to begin:

1. Baby Avin's arrival
2. Jovie's transition to primary one
3. Collection of keys to new flat
4. Renovation
5. Moving house

I love how my life is progressing now. Just hope that Avin can arrive soon and safely and everything will turn out fine.


Just can't wait. Simply can't wait to hold my dearest baby in my arms. Mommy loves you so much already my baby Avin!




At week 37 + 3 days: Went for doctor's appointment at his clinic, was 2 cm dilated. And was told baby can come anytime 😂


D-day! 24th November 2016, Thursday

At week 38 + 1 day, doctor's appointment at Gleneagles Hospital

9.30 am:
I was 2.5cm dilated, ready for active labour. Asked doctor whether I can deliver on that very day and was given an "Ok"! So, off we go, straight into the labour ward. In fact, we had our hospital bag with us already :)


10.30am:
Geared up for childbirth: I was strapped onto the CTG which monitors baby's heartbeat (120-150) and my contractions (4-120). I was also given antibiotics due to being Group B strep positive. Later, I was given the Pitocin drip to speed up labour and I had my bowels cleared using Fleet. Next, doctor came in to break my waters manually. Then, came the uneventful and quiet waiting period.


11am:
Contractions began. Pain level of 1-2 on a scale of 1 to 10.


12pm:
Hubby went for lunch and doctor came to check on me. 3cm dilated.



1-2pm:
Contraction pain level 2-3. Was constantly reminded to ask for epidural early if I couldn't take the pain, preferably before 5cm dilation. I insisted that I'm sure I didn't want to take epidural again. Arranged for my sister to pick up my older son from the childcare centre as we figured that we couldn't make it in time to fetch him before 7pm.


Doctor said ...Estimated Time of Delivery: 7 to 8pm.


2-5pm:
Pain level gradually increased from 4 to 5 then 6 to 7. It got really unbearable. Once, while I was swaying my hips from side to side to alleviate pain, my hubby grabbed me by my hips thinking that it would help. In fact, by preventing me to sway, it made that particular contraction so painful that I feel like kicking him out of this earth.

Seeing me in distress, hubby encouraged me to use the 'laughing gas' (which consists of 50% Nitrate Oxide and 50% Oxygen). It was heavenly. The peak of the contraction pain was leveled off and thus became bearable. I just have to breathe in the gas at the right time (take in 3 slow breaths just before pain kicks in and then take off the mask till the next wave of pain). Too much of it will make me dizzy and heady (sometimes, I fell asleep for a few seconds). So, it takes a bit of time to get the hang of it. No regrets using this! Much better than epidural.

6pm:
At last, I can feel baby coming down my vaginal area. Super painful. There's a fear of myself passing out from the pain. There was a lot of painful pressure below. It really feels like I am having the biggest hard-rock poo of my life, ever. Sorry to sound gross, but it's true. I don't even have to push because it's instinctual. Anyway, you're in too much pain to push. You just let your body and nature do its job. You just need to keep your eye on the prize 👶 and soldier on!


6.29pm:
Then plop - baby has arrived after a few final uterine squeezes! I could feel it slipping out from below. What a wonderful childbirth experience! Baby is crying and fine. He even peed twice upon arrival, once on the father. Then out came the placenta few moments later, which felt like a smaller poo. Afterwhich, I felt my doctor stitching me up (perineal tear). And after resting in the labour ward for 2 hours, I was finally wheeled to my maternity ward.



Phew... 8 hours labour in total.
Now I feel like an invincible superwoman 💪
And finally, finally... my prize precious in my arm. 👶😍

Homecoming, postpartum, and confinement

I gave birth on Thursday evening and checked out of the hospital on Saturday afternoon. It was a relief to reach home safely with my healthy newborn. He only had slight jaundice so no further treatment was needed. He constantly had dark greenish sticky poo and kept spitting out milk for the first few days after homecoming. Doctor say it's okay as his digestive system has not stabilized yet.


Postpartum uterine contractions were not as painful as for my first pregnancy and I need not take any painkillers. Lochia, or postpartum bleeding was heavy only for the first 2 days and it gradually slowed down to a trickle for the next 3 weeks.


On the second week, my breasts were engorged, and nipples were sore and bruised especially after baby sucked at nothing for the first 3 days (milk supply came in on the 4th day after giving birth). A Malay lady came to my house to give me Jamu massage and also relieved my breast engorgement. I could pump bottles of milk (40ml-100ml at one time for both breasts) after just two massage sessions. I must highlight, hubby is the confinement daddy! He took about one month of leave to help me around the house, buy groceries and took care of our first child who had a 2 week bout of illness in that very month.


I had the usual red date tea with longan and goji berries (I couldn't stomach plain water), and ordered natal confinement tingkat (meals) for 28 days which is said to reduce 'wind' and boost/restore your physical health with ginger and all sorts of Chinese herbs.


There was soreness and swelling at my vagina area and peeing was painful. I also had incontinence (peeing while coughing) which improved after a few days. I did not feel as weak, tired, heaty and sweaty as I did during my first pregnancy (basically, I don't feel like I have just given birth). I was about 53 kg before pregnant, then I put on 10kg (63 kg), and was 58 kg immediately after giving birth. Then, I put on 2-3 kg after that because breastfeeding makes me sooo hungry so I just ate everything until I felt satisfied. I was also bloated after giving birth due to water retention.


On the third week, I developed painful piles (even though I don't suffer from chronic constipation like I did for my 1st child) and had carpel tunnel syndrome (CTS, electric-shock like pain and weakness on both wrists and hands). Went for my postpartum check up 6 week after giving birth where the doctor scanned and checked whether my uterus has shrunk to its pre-pregnancy size and a Pap smear was done as well. Asked doctor about my painful wrist (CTS) and he said it might be largely due to water retention which presses on my nerves and that he could prescribe medications to alleviate the pain, but I'll have to stop breastfeeding. I rejected the offer since doctor said the pain will go away gradually, which did happen after about 4 months. It's also around this time that the postpartum hair loss began. Hair fell out continuously throughout the day, especially when bathing.


But the good news is, 6 months after giving birth, all the pain and suffering I've mentioned is almost gone and I am now back to my prepregnancy weight - although, there are still loose skin and fats around my tummy, thighs and arms. I'll continue to avoid sugar and white rice/bread and eat healthy proteins (salmon, chicken, other omega 3 fat rich foods), and loads of vegetables and fruits and drink loads of water. I'll continue to keep myself active everyday by doing all the housework (sweep, mop, scrub, wipe, iron, and cook), continuing my grocery runs and school runs, shopping for home essentials, and walk whenever I could. All this with my baby strapped onto me. 😍🚼 Sports shoes and fit flop are my best friends now.



The end...

If Everything Turns Out The Way You Want It...

It may not be a good thing, if everything turns out exactly the way you want them to be. 

I used to wish that my hubby could spend more time with me instead of his electronic gadgets. But one day, I saw a show depicting a man madly in love with his wife to the point that he's suspicious of every single person speaking to her. He often followed her on the sly, just to make sure that his wife remains faithful to him. 

I cannot imagine if my hubby becomes like that one day. It'll be very frustrating and will bring about a lot of stress. 

I am now very contented the way things are turning out right now. My life is as perfect as I think it is. I should already be thankful when my family is safe and sound, our country is doing well, and the earth is still spinning as per normal. 

Like the saying goes: 

You can have everything you'd always wanted but you're still not satisfied. 

Because greed can be unlimited if you let it. 

Essential Checklist For Hiring A Helper

Dear readers, here's a checklist for hiring a domestic helper in Singapore. 

Our family used to have a helper who is here mainly to help take care of my elderly father-in-law and has since left us for another employer in 2016. 

And here are the things that we've done and prepared for the entire hiring process. Hope it can give some pointers when you hire a helper one day. Cheers!

1. Financial Obligations: Initial deposit [3-6 months of maid's pay (which is about $400 per month), for a 2-year contract], maid's monthly pay, pocketmoney, Sunday off-day pay, (note the mode of these payments: cash, maid's bank account, or remittance back to her own country), maid's government levy, insurance, security bond/deposit, medical/dental cost (we paid for her $500/++ wisdom tooth removal and bi-yearly body checkup), daily food and lodging (electricity/water) expenses, toiletries and personal consumables expenses (my first maid came with only a piece of soap for toiletries) and money set aside for her one-way air ticket home. My total monthly cost of having a maid can easily reach $1000. Very much like owning a car in Singapore.

2. Proper Sleeping/Resting Area: Well-ventilated room with beddings, pillow, blanket. 

3. Three Meals A Day: Home-cooked (maid buys groceries and cook), takeaway, delivery, a meal at the food court, etc. Eating utensils: Plate, bowl, cup, fork, spoon, water bottle.

4. Basic Toiletries: Towel, toothbrush, toothpaste, hair/facial/body wash, menstrual pads, etc.

5. House Rules and Home Safety and Hygiene: 

• Daily Working Schedule: Write or print out a working schedule from Mondays to Fridays stating the working and resting hours, the job to be done, e.g. sweep floor everyday at 4pm, so that she knows what to do everyday and what are your expectations of her. 

• Emergency numbers to call: when to call who, how to use house phone or handphone, numbers to call (your number, relatives', doctor, ambulance, etc.

• Locking and closing of main doors and all window grilles at all times (prepare extra set of keys for her).

• No stepping of low stools while hanging out the laundry and while cleaning windows in high-rise flats.

• No wastage of food, electricity and water, especially in Singapore where everything is relatively expensive.

• Practice proper hygiene while preparing food, e.g. wash hands before handling food. Prevent spreading of germs or diseases, e.g. cover mouth or turn away when coughing or sneezing. 

6. Other Orientation:

• Teaching the helper to use household appliances and electronic gadgets e.g. kitchen tools like can-opener, blender and special knives. Oven, stove, cooker hood, microwave oven, hot pot, water-heater, coffee machine, iron and ironing board, vacuum-cleaner, mopping equipment, air-conditioner, air purifier, TV, radio, 

• Elderly care and childcare rules, expectations and work scope e.g. cooking preferences (less oil, salt, sugar), bathing, dressing and taking elderly or child to nearby park/playground, picking child up from school, etc. 

• Communication with elderly and administering medications/pills, daily injections, simple medical tests (blood glucose test), and skin/wound care etc. Note: There is a one-day brief elderly-care course for the main caregiver or maid conducted at the hospitals. 

• Introduce and explain important social or cultural practices in Singapore and bring her around the neighbourhood so that she can familiarise herself with the new culture and surroundings. 

• It will be good to ask about her family or background to know her better and to treat her with respect so as to maintain a good employer-employee relationship. Have as much patience as you can since she is new to both your home and your country. Give her ample time to ease in.